Endurance Through Identity Loss

All I had ever done was play baseball. So when I lost my pitching arm, I lost a lot more too—my career, my position and my sense of identity. Who was I if I was not a pro baseball player? It was a long and difficult journey to identify the real Dave Dravecky.

Before my surgery, I looked forward to the amputation. My arm had become useless and was a source of great pain. I wanted to be rid of it. But I had no idea what the consequences would be.

After the amputation, I put on a brave face and “sucked it up.” I adjusted to my new “normal” life, but inside—even though I was not aware—I struggled with denial and anger, resulting in depression.

Everything familiar had been washed away, and I was face to face with what I had really lost. So much of my identity and worth was wrapped up in that arm and what it had been capable of doing. It had brought me joy. It had brought me financial security. It had brought me the fulfillment of my boyhood dream.

My questions could not be held at bay: “Who am I? Why am I here? And now what am I supposed to do with my life?”

Individuals and caregivers who deal with long-term illness or disability will inevitably face life-changing losses—often including relationships, skills and resources that have been an essential part of who we are and that have given us joy and purpose in living.

Provision of Perspective

The wake-up call for me came through the counseling that my wife, Jan, sought during her recovery from depression. As I listened to Jan pour out her heart, I thought, “Hey, what she’s going through is similar to what’s happening to me.”

Over a period of 18 months of counseling, I began to understand my feelings and, for the first time

in my life, learned how to express them—and that wasn’t easy for a jock like me.

I also found encouragement and motivation through the hope I have in Jesus Christ. Even as a follower of Jesus Christ, I sometimes wanted to crawl into a corner, paralyzed by fear. But I learned to trust that no tragedy or trauma could ever diminish my worth.

My worth is not in what I did, but in who I am—a child of God.

With this true perspective of myself, I gained the ability to endure the changes and challenges of living without my left arm. And I laid down my ball and glove.

Now, more than 20 years later, I’ve come to recognize that God has a special purpose for my life in offering His comfort, encouragement and hope to others—perhaps even to you or someone you know—on the journey of suffering.

Please share this to encourage a friend or loved one.

Read more about Endurance Through Identity Loss