Rely on your Support Team

Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
ECCLESIASTES 4:9-10

 

Baseball is a team sport.

As a pitcher, I relied on the seven players behind me and the one in front of me to make the plays behind me so that we could complete and hopefully win the game.  If not for my team’s support I would have to strike out every batter at the plate – that would not be good and would be nearly impossible to accomplish.

Enduring the journey through life takes team support. 

 

 

It is not good to travel through life alone – especially when your travel takes you through the valley of suffering.  If you want to make it to the other side it sure is a lot easier with the help and support of others – you need a support team.

So take the initiative to ask for help and be willing to receive help when it is offered.

Many friends and family earnestly want to help.  They are God’s gift to us.  They are more than just a gift to enjoy when the journey of life is going well – they’re a gift to employ when our lives are turned upside down and we find ourselves struggling up a long difficult hill or down into the that deep dark valley.

I know that in my own experience it was hard for me to allow others to help – I wanted to be able to do it myself.  But I know when I finally admitted that I needed the help of others – when I humbled myself and finally received their help – I was blessed.  The journey was a whole lot easier.

My family and friends that came alongside of me became God’s hands and feet – God’s provision for me – helping me endure the journey so that I would run through my valley with perseverance.  They helped me make it to the other side.

 

 

Journey with Other Pitchers

“Jesus the Messiah!
Father of all mercy!
God of all healing counsel!
He comes alongside us when we go through hard times,
and before you know it,
he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times
so that we can be there for that person
just as God was there for us.”
2 CORINTHIANS 1:4    (The Message)

 

There is nothing like having someone to journey through life’s valleys with who understands because they have journeyed the same path before you.

I know when I played baseball, my closest friends on the team, the ones that I always hung out with, were always other pitchers who understood all the stresses that a pitcher goes through during a normal baseball season.

Non-pitchers didn’t understand all the aches and pains that a pitcher has after throwing a nine-inning game. Non-pitchers didn’t understand the emotional stresses that a pitcher goes through after getting shell shocked in the first inning of a game or the exhilaration of pitching a shutout.

We encouraged one another because we understood one another – we were journeying on the same path.

The same is true when journeying on the path through suffering …

Jennifer was more nervous than most visitors to our Endurance office.  When I came into the reception area to greet her, she burst into tears.  Jennifer had never seen another person with a full-quarter body amputation just like hers. 

She was overwhelmed to see someone else who looked like her, someone else who understood how hard it was to button a shirt, wear shoulder pads or tie shoes.  Nothing could replace what happened to Jennifer in that encounter.  She had found someone else who understood.

Want to run with perseverance?  Find others who are on the same journey as you – who understand.

If your church or community doesn’t have a Christian support group that addresses your specific need, consider meeting on an informal basis with others who are struggling with some of the same issues as you are.  Like Jennifer, you may encounter someone who shares a similar journey, who understands the pitfalls, who lessens the loneliness that can accompany adversity.

 

“… I want us to help each other with the faith we have.
Your faith will help me, and my faith will help you.”
ROMANS 1:12    (New Century Version)

 

 

Run with Perseverance

Consume the Right Fuel

“… and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”
HEBREWS 12:1

Running with perseverance sounds easy:  put one foot in front of the other and keep going.  But how do you keep going when the journey gets difficult?

I know myself as an athlete – as a starting pitcher – my ultimate desire was to throw a nine inning complete game.  In order to persevere through nine innings, I put myself through intense endurance training.  There were many days, weeks, and months of preparation to strengthen and build my body to a point where it could endure.

Then on game day, my pregame meal was so important because I needed to consume the right combination of carbohydrates and protein that my body would need for an optimal performance.  In order for me to endure, I needed to consume the right fuel.

On a much larger scale for me, running with perseverance through the journey of suffering required the same preparation and consumption of the right fuel in order for me to endure emotionally and spiritually.  My fuel?  The Word of God.

 

 

As a young Christian, I was under the teaching of wonderful pastors in Southern California who taught the Word of God.  In those early years, I hungered for and devoured God’s Word.  I had no idea how the consumption of God’s Word would prepare and strengthen me for what was to come on my life journey.   I know I would not have been able to endure without it. 

The Word of God – Don’t journey through life without it!

 

 

Learn the Secret of Contentment

I am not saying this because I am in need,
for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.
I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation,
whether well fed or hungry,
whether living in plenty or in want.

 

When I was stricken with cancer, I would recite this same verse over and over reminding myself that I, too, could overcome this new obstacle.  But after several surgeries and radiation, I was seriously weakened and I began to doubt whether I had the strength to ever overcome this one.  I was frustrated with my own weakness and inability to overcome.

A friend of mine was aware of my weakened and discouraged state, and decided that I could use some encouragement.  He asked his friend, Chuck Swindoll, a well-known pastor and author, to give me a call and encourage me.  Since I had listened to Chuck on the radio for years and admired him greatly, I was thrilled when I answered the phone and realized it was he who was calling me.

Chuck told me that he wanted to call and encourage me with a vignette that he was writing on Philippians 4:11-13.  I remember immediately popping up and saying proudly to him that Philippians 4:13 was one of my favorite life verses.

He responded gently back to me and said, “Yes, Dave that is a powerful verse but your emphasis should not be on verse 13 alone but also on verses 11 and 12 that proceed that verse.”

He then shared that Paul stated that he had learned the secret of contentment no matter what his circumstances.  He pointed out that Paul was under house arrest at the time.  He had experienced poverty and prosperity, being filled and going hungry, having abundance and suffering need – yet in all circumstances he experienced contentment. 

Chuck then shared “Contentment is possible no matter how dire your circumstances.  The secret to Paul’s contentment was knowing Christ’s strength was perfected in his weakness.”  He then quoted 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 where Paul wrote:

When I considered that Christ’s strength was perfected in my weakness – my own inability to overcome – I experienced contentment because I knew I could trust Him no matter how dire my circumstances – no matter how weak I am.

What is the secret of contentment even through the trials of life?  Focus on Jesus not your circumstances.

 

 

Do Away with Double Pain

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering,
as though something strange were happening to you.
1 PETER 4:12

 

No one wants to suffer – no one enjoys suffering – it is even worse when we are taken by surprise – blindsided by the painful trial – there is no perfect time to fit suffering into your schedule.

I found that whenever I encountered a trial or affliction, I not only would experience the pain of the affliction but I would then experience shock (I absolutely hate surprises), anger (I was angry that I even had to go through this) and then resistance to the affliction.

Then one day, in the midst of our darkest valley, a friend gave me the book, Let Go by Fenelon and I read his following words:

 

 

WOW!  It was another AHA moment for me.  Suddenly, I realized that not only did I carry the pain of our affliction – something that I did not choose nor could I change – but I also compounded and intensified my pain with my anger and resistance – something I chose to feel and I could change.  I was choosing to carry double and triple pain when I only needed to carry the single pain of the affliction, which provided enough pain by itself.

When I finally accepted the affliction, trusted and submitted to the will of God – knowing that nothing happens to me that first does not pass through His Hands – my anger and resistance dissipated. This shift in perspective and position lightened the extra load I was carrying – I actually experienced peace in the midst of the affliction. 

 

 

Lighten Your Load

By Establishing Your Priorities   

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses
to the life of faith,
let us strip off every weight that slows us down
HEBREWS 12:1

 

When your journey takes you into the valley of suffering, it is so important to assess the load that you are carrying and discard any needless weight.  Needless weight will slow you down and eventually burn you out.  I know this from my own personal experience.

I always felt responsible for everyone and everything.  I honestly once believed that whatever came across my path – God wanted me to take care of.  And up until we entered our valley of suffering I did a pretty good job of juggling and carrying all that life threw at us.  God soon showed me how ridiculous that belief truly was.

After Dave’s comeback, the breaking of his arm and subsequent surgeries, he required a large amount of care and attention.  During this time, Dave was incapacitated and unable to do anything, I was Dave’s caregiver, the single parent to our two young children and also ran our household alone.

But the load became unbearable when I also tried to continue to meet the needs of extended family, friends and even mere acquaintances.  Any request that was made of me I tried to fulfill – I could not say no – I wanted to please everyone.  I remember thinking – isn’t this what God expects from me? 

Of course, I could not sustain that unrealistic load and I collapsed under the weight of it all.  In order to be restored and endure this journey, I needed to establish what my priorities were, reassess the load I was carrying and strip off any needless weight.

I was surprised to learn that while my top priorities were my husband and my children, my own personal health was a priority too.  I needed to take care of myself physically, emotionally and spiritually so that I would be strong enough to take care of Dave and the kids – this was not being selfish but selfless.  What a relief – it was OK for me to take care of me!

 

 

 

                         For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.                      
MATTHEW 11:28-30

Learn the Lesson
of Boulders and Knapsacks

“Carry each other’s burdens,
and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

 

I always believed, as we are told in Scripture, that we are to “Carry each other’s burdens.”  I did my best to help carry everyone’s supposed burdens with a sacrificial love.

A major problem for me was while I so willingly offered my help to others I was unable to receive help from anyone.  Even when we entered our valley of suffering, I refused others’ offers of help – I didn’t want to impose – I believed I could take care of myself. 

But the truth was that I could not bear my burdens alone and I collapsed under their oppressive weight.   Fortunately, I did turn for help to a Christian counselor.  Through his Godly guidance and insight, I learned many valuable lessons. Let me share one of his most valuable insights into the Scripture and my life.

My counselor told me in Galatians 6:2 – burden in the Greek translates into boulder; a boulder is something that is too heavy for an individual to carry alone.  So yes, we as Christians are to come alongside one another with a sacrificial love and help carry one another’s boulders.

BUT THEN he pointed out that the Scripture also says: 

 

 

Load in the Greek translates into knapsack; a knapsack is something that each individual is responsible to carry on his own. So, there are boulders and there are knapsacks.  We are to help carry one another’s boulders but not one another’s knapsacks.  When we carry one another’s knapsacks we get in the way of their maturing process. 

I’ll never forget what my counselor said to me next – it was a major “A-HA” moment in my life.

He said,  “Jan, the reason you have collapsed is because first of all, you would not let anyone help you carry the boulders in your own life – they were too heavy for you to carry alone.  You need to learn to receive from others.”

He continued, “And secondly, yes – you helped carry everyone’s boulders but you also tried to carry everyone’s knapsacks.   You are not responsible to carry anyone’s knapsack.  In order for you to heal and lead a healthy life, you need to learn to discern between what is a boulder or knapsack in one’s life before you offer to help carry it.”

The load that I had been carrying was lightened when I learned that there are seasons in life – seasons to give and seasons to receive.  I learned to receive help with the boulders in my life and my load was lightened.

When I stopped carrying others’ knapsacks – a needless weight – my load was lightened even more.  

Are you allowing others to help you carry the boulders in your life?  Are you carrying others’ knapsacks?  My prayer for you is that God will show you the boulders in your life that you need to let others help you bear and that He will also show you the needless knapsacks that you are carrying for others.

 

“…let us strip off every weight that slows us down,
especially the sin that so easily trips us up.
And let us run with endurance
the race God has set before us. ‘
HEBREWS 12:1 

 

 

 

I have always had high expectations of myself – never wanting to fail – always wanting to be strong – never weak – earning my success in the game of baseball and in my everyday life.

All that changed when cancer entered my life.  Oh I was strong and performed well at the beginning of my journey of suffering.  But as the journey took me into the wilderness and the days became long and endless, I experienced a weakness of my being that I had never felt before. 

I had a fear of death – I doubted – then felt shame for my lack of faith.   I experienced frustration over my weakness and my failure to overcome.  This resulted in anger – rage filled fits – then extreme guilt over my sin.  Like Adam in the Garden of Eden, my inclination was to run from God and hide.

BUT … running and hiding from God was not the answer– in order to endure I needed to run to Him and receive His grace even though I felt I had not earned or deserved it.