Anxiety springs from the desire that things should happen as we wish rather than as God wills. ANONYMOUS

Worry is so pervasive that many counselors consider it to be the “common cold” of emotional problems. So if you struggle with worry and anxiety you are not alone. Statistics show that one out of four Americans will be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder during his or her lifetime.

Worry and anxiety are especially troublesome when you are battling serious illness or dealing with the aftermath of a tragedy. Worry adds an additional heavy load during a time when burdens are already too heavy to carry. Worry can be the added weight that causes you to collapse under the burden of a difficult situation.

I can certainly say an “Amen” to that. I discovered the dark side of worry the hard way. There was a time in my life when I could worry and get away with it with little negative side effects. But then when the difficult, hard times of life hit us – my worry barometer went off the charts and I collapsed under the weight of it all.

I used to think that worry was the way to care for the people I loved. I would worry about their situations and how things would work out in the future. I wanted to help so I tried to figure everything out. I tried to consider all the possible scenarios and what I would have to do to control or be prepared for each scenario that I conjured up in my mind.

Worriers are visionaries without the optimism.
EDWARD T. WELCH (RUNNING SCARED)

When you come right down to it I was afraid of the future and what it could possibly hold. I was afraid the future would not turn out the way I wanted it to so I did everything in my power to control it. And if I could not control it – I was at least going to be prepared for it!

It was hard for me to be optimistic about our future when our world was falling apart around us. My worrying started to affect me physically. I would wake up in the middle of the night unable to go back to sleep. I couldn’t eat and I lost weight. I experienced panic attacks and eventually entered the wilderness of a deep, dark depression.

My worries were destroying me.

In order for me to stop worrying the first thing I needed to do was to place my trust where it belonged – in God’s loving, faithful hands rather than my own. I needed to stop focusing on the “what ifs” and focus on the promises of God in His Word.

By knowing that He will lead us and guide us till we meet Him on the other side …

For that is what God is like.
He is our God forever and ever,
and he will guide us until we die.
PSALM 48:14 (NLT)

By knowing that our worries and fears will never separate us from His Love …

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love.
Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,
neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—
not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.
No power in the sky above or in the earth below—
indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us
from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.
ROMANS 8:38-39 (NLT)

Reassuring myself of His faithfulness …

The faithful love of the LORD never ends!
His mercies never cease.
Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.
LAMENTATIONS 3:22-23 (NLT)

And then I could and you can too …
Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.
1 PETER 5:7 (NLT)

On the journey with you,
Jan Dravecky

Anger, Anxiety, Depression, Healing, Relationships, Words of Endurance

Dealing With Your Own Anger

By Nathan Solla on

May 3, 2011

- Anger, Anxiety, Depression, Healing, Relationships, Words of Endurance

Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry,
for anger gives a foothold to the devil.
EPHESIANS 4:26-27

While Dave outwardly expressed his anger, I stuffed mine and I never dealt with it. Neither action (his or mine) is God’s way of dealing with anger. Both result in sin – for Dave sin against others – for me sin against myself. One of my major mistakes was to deny my anger and keep it inside. I never felt I had the right to be angry. I didn’t share my hurts, fears or frustrations and the resulting anger with anyone because I did not feel it was the Christian thing to do.

Unfortunately, the end results of letting the sun go down on your anger and turning that anger inward, is depression. And when I did end up depressed fortunately I started seeing a Christian Psychologist, Dr. Sommers.

Upon my first visit with him, he was initially getting to know me, asking general questions about how I approached different situations. I had read enough counseling books to be a little smug in my understanding of the terminology and savvy about giving the answers I thought would be the right ones.

He said, “Tell me Jan how you deal with confronting people when that becomes necessary.” “Oh, I’m good at confrontation,” I assured him.

“Really,” Dr. Sommers said, nodding me on. “Give me an example of a time you needed to confront someone and how you did it.”

“Well, I can’t think of a particular example but I do it all the time because I am a peacemaker. Whenever anyone is mad at me or displeased with me, I go to him or her immediately to make it right. I ask them what I did to make them angry then I correct the problem, whatever it is.”

His expression clouded over. “Okay, but what do you do to confront someone when you are angry or you are the one who has been wronged?”

“Well …” I paused because I was stunned by the question. I had never even considered confronting anyone who hurt or mistreated me. “I don’t do anything – I stuff it. I find it pretty easy to swallow it and that way no one is hurt.”

“Jan,” Dr. Sommers said gently, “you are not confronting in a healthy way when you rush after anyone who is displeased with you to find out what you must do to keep that person from being mad at you. A big difference exists between placating someone and being a peacemaker. You need to learn how to live honestly with others, not just do whatever they want so they don’t get mad at you.”

He continued, “Also, ignoring situations where you have been wronged because you want to ‘keep the peace’ reveals a problem. No, you won’t hurt others but stuffing your anger will hurt you – in fact it already has.”

I sat there stunned. This was an area of my life that I thought was fine. Now, in light of what his questions revealed, I suddenly realized I needed to be aware of my own feelings and needs without feeling selfish. I also needed to reevaluate the patterns that I had set in all my relationships and find new healthy ways to respond.

The understanding I gained set me free to see situations differently and I responded differently. Now because I am more aware of my emotions, if I’ve been wronged or sinned against by someone, I go to the person as Scripture tells us to in Matthew 18:15-17.

I still have to swallow hard (it will never be easy for me) before confronting those who might get mad at me or retreat from me. I will always need an extra dose of courage when I confront but at least I realize confrontation is necessary at times to keep my relationships and me healthy, balanced and honest.

And finally I learned that I had always prided myself on my graciousness shown in overlooking wrongs against me. I saw my placating and people-pleasing-at-all-costs kind of behavior as a Godly virtue when it really wasn’t. Only when I was weakened by depression, could I see my life in His light and take steps under His direction on the path that He taught me so that I could heal.

Show me your ways, LORD, teach me your paths.
Guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.
PSALM 25:4-5

On the journey with you,
Jan Dravecky

Anxiety, Love, Peace, When God is Silent, Words of Endurance

Where is God When We Need Him Most?

By kate on

February 26, 2011

- Anxiety, Love, Peace, When God is Silent, Words of Endurance

by Amanda S. Sorenson

The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters,
He restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You have anointed my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
Surely goodness and loving kindness will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Psalm 23

Next to the Lord’s Prayer, the 23rd Psalm is perhaps the most familiar passage in the Bible. Children memorize it. Composers set it to music. Commentators explain its deeper meanings. And for many, it provides great comfort during times of suffering. People who have endured great physical or emotional pain often tell how they have repeated the phrases “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want…The Lord is my Shepherd…” during their times of trial. Sometimes those are the only words our pain-wracked minds can form.

Sometimes our familiarity with this Psalm dulls our senses to its true meaning. I have found this to be true of my experience. In fact, I recently discovered an image buried in the middle of that wonderful Psalm that gave me a whole new picture of God’s presence in the midst of my suffering.

At the time, I felt utterly abandoned by God. I could not feel His presence. I could not seem to reach Him with my prayers. Even His Word had grown cold. I felt frustrated by His apparent lack of concern for my well-being. But when I read R.C. Sproul’s commentary on David’s description of what it is like to go through the valley of the shadow of death, my picture changed. Let me share what Sproul writes.

The valley of the shadow of death. It is a valley where the sun’s rays often seem to be blotted out. To approach it is to tremble. We would prefer to walk around it, to seek a safe bypass. But men and women of faith can enter that valley without fear. David told us how:

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
Psalm 23:4

David was a shepherd. In this psalm, David puts himself in the place of the sheep. He sees himself as a lamb under the care of the Great Shepherd. He enters the valley without fear for one overarching reason: the Shepherd goes with him. He trusts himself to the care and the protection of the Shepherd.
…We have a Shepherd who cannot fall. We have a Shepherd who cannot die. He is no hireling who abandons his flock at the first sign of trouble. Our Shepherd is armed with omnipotent force. He is not threatened by the valley of shadows. He created the valley. He redeems the valley.
David’s confidence was rooted in the absolute certainty of the presence of God. He understood that…God will not send us where He refuses to go Himself.

Did you see it too? David’s God wasn’t far away in heaven, David’s God was right next to him! David’s God walked by his side as he stepped through that dark and terrifying valley. David’s God was ready to do whatever was necessary to keep him from harm.

David did not, as I did, call out to a God who was far away, shrouded in heaven’s bliss and hope that He would hear his cry and answer before he perished. David could reach out and grasp onto the Shepherd at any time because the Shepherd was with him – walking beside him, close enough to touch. The Shepherd’s presence was David’s refuge and strength, and by virtue of the Shepherd’s immediate presence, the terror of the valley could be conquered.

The fact that David’s God is also my God has encouraged me to look for Him and to trust that He is, indeed, with me. I no longer see myself walking through the valley alone, I intentionally see my God and Savior fully armed and walking beside me. And that gives me hope.

Anxiety, Fear, Prayer, Words of Endurance

Our Secret Weapon Against Fear

By Nathan Solla on

February 1, 2011

- Anxiety, Fear, Prayer, Words of Endurance

“Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered. No one was there.”
ANONYMOUS

Our secret weapon in the battle against fear is nothing less than having faith in God’s love for us. The Apostle John knew and experienced God’s love in such an intimate way that he could say…

Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear.
1 JOHN 4:18 (NLT)

He knew, deep in his soul, that God loved him – regardless of how he felt at any given moment and regardless of his circumstances. We, too, can experience God’s perfect love in our lives. We can spend time with Him. We can be honest with Him about our fears, weaknesses, doubts, and sins. We can read His love letters (the Bible) and ask him to reveal His love to us. We can receive His love through the actions of others. As we draw close to God, we will come to know Him and understand that He loves us as His children. We will come to know His love and with the knowledge that He loves us with a Father’s love – fear will flee.

The Spirit you received does not make you slaves so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him, we cry, “Abba, Father.”
ROMANS 8:15

A friend of ours, Beve, was battling cancer and her battle with fear caused her to seek God with a vengeance. She knew difficult days lay ahead and that she needed to “get up close and personal” with God and she drew near to Him. One day, while lying in a hospital bed shortly before she stepped into eternity, Beve had a dream. She dreamed that the Lord Himself stood by her bedside and held her hand. She never shared the details of their conversation. She didn’t need to. The evidence was written all over her face. Fear didn’t have the last word, faith did. That is our hope for all of us who have fear knocking at our doors – that when faith answers the door, fear will flee. And along with the Apostle Paul we pray …

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being,
so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.
And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,
may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people,
to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,
and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—
that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
EPHESIANS 3:16-19

On the journey with you,
Jan & Dave Dravecky

Anxiety, Fear, Healing, Hope, Words of Endurance

Wrestling with Worry

Anger, Anxiety, Depression, Healing, Relationships, Words of Endurance

Dealing With Your Own Anger

Anxiety, Love, Peace, When God is Silent, Words of Endurance

Where is God When We Need Him Most?

Anxiety, Fear, Prayer, Words of Endurance

Our Secret Weapon Against Fear

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