Endurance for the Journey, Featured, Relationships

“No one has greater love than this,
to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
JOHN 15:13 (WORDS OF JESUS – NRSV)

When we honestly ask ourselves which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not-knowing, not-curing, not healing, and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is the friend who cares.

HENRI NOUWEN
(DAILY MEDITATION – HENRI NOUWEN SOCIETY)
henrinouwen.org

On the journey with you,
Jan & Dave Dravecky

Endurance for the Journey, Featured, Relationships

My beloved friends,
let us continue to love one another
since love comes from God.
Everyone who loves is born of God
and experiences a relationship with God.
1 JOHN 4:7 (THE MESSAGE)

Before I went through my own season of suffering, I had friends, but I didn’t understand how important those relationships really were. Sure, I enjoyed my friends – it was nice to have them but it certainly didn’t seem to me that I NEEDED those relationships. Boy, did that ever change!

I learned that you cannot get through pain and suffering on your own. You eventually come to the end of yourself and you need another person there to stand beside you and lift you up. We all need to have a friend who is willing to make the personal sacrifice to be with you so that you are not alone – what a powerful sacrifice and expression of true love.

When I was struggling, it was important for me to know that my true friends really were willing to sacrifice their time and hearts for me. Their sacrifice was a demonstration of God’s love for me.

This is how we’ve come to understand
and experience love: Christ sacrificed His love for us.
This is why we ought to live sacrificially
for our fellow believers, and not just be out for ourselves.
If you see some brother or sister in need and
have the means to do something about it
but turn a cold shoulder and do nothing,
what happens to God’s love?
It disappears. And you made it disappear.
My dear children, let’s not just talk about love;
let’s practice real love.
1 JOHN 3:16-18 (THE MESSAGE)

On the journey with you,
Dave Dravecky

Endurance for the Journey, Featured, Relationships

Bear one another burdens,
and in this way obey the law of Christ.
GALATIONS 6:2 (NLT)

Cancer is a life-changing experience. It changes how we view ourselves, our future and our view of life itself. It changes our daily life – perhaps for a few years, perhaps for the rest of our life. It may change the kind of work we do and our recreational choices. And, as is true for all long-term trials, cancer changes our relationships.

Of all the discomfort, turmoil and uncertainty that accompany cancer, the struggle to deal with changing relationships often brings us the deepest pain. All too often it seems that just when we need people the most – just when our suffering becomes more than we can bear – people that we thought would be there for us, they scatter. This is why we started the ministry of Endurance.

Through our own experiences and the suffering we have witnessed in the lives of others, we have learned that WE NEED ONE ANOTHER. God never intended for us to go it alone. At the very beginning of the human race, God said, “It is not good for man to be alone,” so He made Eve.

Thousands of years have passed, but our need for one another hasn’t changed. We still need family and friends to help us bear life’s burdens. In the face of cancer, amputation, loss of a loved one, depression and any other kind of suffering, it can be a real struggle for both the person who is suffering and the family member or friend who comes alongside. If this has been your experience – you are not alone.

On the journey with you,
Jan & Dave Dravecky

Endurance for the Journey, Featured, Relationships

All praise to the God and Father of our Master,
Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel!
He comes alongside us when we go through hard times,
and before you know it, He brings us alongside someone else
who is going through hard times so that we can
be there for that person just as God was there for us.
2 CORINTHIANS 1:3-5 (THE MESSAGE)

Look for opportunities to use your disability or illness to reach others in a similar situation. Humans naturally seek out those with similar desires, passions, situations, and hobbies. There’s something special about connecting with those who are also suffering physically. You can build each other up, guide one another through medical scenarios, creatively find ways to adapt to life and understand each other in ways that able-bodied folks cannot.

Even the Bible speaks, in 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, to comforting one another with the comfort we have received. There are ways you can connect with other people who are suffering via social media presence and specific social media groups, support groups at hospitals, friends of friends, and in-person connections. These people do not have to be in the same situation that you are in but can be anyone who has physical challenges.

You can learn from one another and edify one another in wonderful ways. This can provide great purpose to the suffering in your life as you lift each other up and encourage one another in your faith. I started a social media page where I educate people and have connected with so many people in similar situations who battle medical conditions. I have made very meaningful, long-lasting relationships with fellow warriors and caregivers alike. Using my illnesses and disabilities to help and love others has turned something terrible into something purposeful.

So speak encouraging words to one another.
Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this,
no one left out, no one left behind.
I know you’re already doing this; just keep on doing it.
1 THESSALONIANS 5:11 (THE MESSAGE)

Written with permission from the blog of Abi Gordon
(Sign up for Abi’s Blog at EphemeralandFaithful.com)

On the journey with you,
Jan & Dave Dravecky

Endurance for the Journey, Featured, Relationships

One night the Lord spoke to Paul in a vision and told him,
“Don’t be afraid! Speak out! Don’t be silent!
For I am with you, and no one will attack and harm you,
for many people in this city belong to me.”
ACTS 18:9-11 (NLT)

“That’s the great thing a Christian community can provide: the opportunity to establish a network of caring and compassion that can support you when you are in distress – the way Paul was in distress when he first came to Corinth. When the wind gets knocked out of you, and as you gasp and finally begin to get your breath, you find that people have gathered around you. Faces emerge from the blur. Individual faces. And they are there for you. That’s what the Body of Christ was meant to be. And that’s why we need it. Because at sometime or other, we’ll all be disoriented, discouraged and in distress!” EUGENE PETERSON

Wow! What powerful words for all of us! Not only did the Apostle Paul need a community of Christ followers to care and have compassion for him but we do too! When we find ourselves disoriented, discouraged or in distress we all need this kind of community Eugene Peterson speaks of.

In these difficult times we live in people continue to face the uncertainty of the future. Families find themselves facing a recently heard diagnosis of cancer, the ongoing battle with depression and anxiety, the loss of a loved one and so much more. The greatest travesty of all as we face all the uncertainties of life, is to find ourselves all alone!

If you know someone who finds themselves in that place – alone – invite them into your community. Your caring and compassion will be a gift to that person as they journey through the uncertainty of that situation.

The bottom line is – we need each other to endure this life until He returns!

Let us think of ways to motivate one another
to acts of love and good works.
And let us not neglect our meeting together,
as some people do, but encourage one another,
especially now that the day of His return is drawing near.
HEBREWS 10:24-25 (NLT)

On the journey with you,
Dave Dravecky

Endurance for the Journey, Featured, Relationships

A few days ago, I was reading James 3 and again WORDS was the hot topic. WORDS can either build you up and bring comfort or tear you down and create despair. I want to share with you the WORDS I read in James as translated in the Message Bible.

A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse.
A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands
of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds.
A word out of your mouth may seem of no account,
but it can accomplish nearly anything-or destroy it!
It only takes a spark remember, to set off a forest fire.
A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that.
By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos,
throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and
go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell. This is scary:
You can tame a tiger, but you can’t tame a tongue-it’s never been done.
The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer.
With our tongues we bless God our Father;
with the same tongues we curse the very men and women
He made in His image.
Curses and blessings out of the same mouth!
My friends this can’t go on.
JAMES 3:3-10

Did you catch that? At least for me, those WORDS are so convicting. All too often, I can be careless with my WORDS. All too often, I don’t take seriously enough the WORDS that come out of my mouth! But I am learning to pause and weigh my words before I speak! Eugene Petersen reminds us in his note on this passage:

“Huge horse, little bit-and the bit calls the shots. A small rudder is attached to the ship – and it, not the wind, determines the ships course. The tongue is like a spark in the forest. And we all know what happens when the spark catches fire!

It only takes a moment of carelessness in conversation, but in a gusty moment, that conversation can get out of hand, causing a forest full of devastation.

Can you believe that? Can you believe that there were Christians in those first century congregations who were full of praise for God, singing the hymns and making confession and entering into prayers, and then out on the streets they were gossiping, cursing, and belittling their fellow Christians with their WORDS? Well, we can believe it because we’ve all done it!”

A Prayer
Dear Lord,
Help me to realize the impact of my words on the lives of others. Help me to use my tongue as an instrument of blessing rather than cursing. Grant that when I speak my truth, I would speak it in love, that my words would be like the Lord, Jesus’ words, full of grace and truth. If it’s true as your word says, that the mouth speaks from that which fills the heart, then give me a better heart! Especially, I pray for that part of my heart….

On the journey with you,
Dave Dravecky

Endurance for the Journey, Featured, Relationships

Well-spoken words bring satisfaction …
PROVERBS 12:14 (THE MESSAGE)

“Nothing is easier than to make sounds in the form of words;
nothing is more difficult than to make those words
express truth and love. Those words, when they’re spoken, are well spoken.
And they bring both satisfaction to the
speaker and salvation to the hearer.”
Eugene Petersen

Words are powerful!They can either build one up or tear them down. Words can encourage you or discourage you. They either express love or hurt! Words can deceive or be honest and truthful. But said without love can destroy! Words can form opinions that quite frankly, often times, don’t want to be heard. Maybe that’s why we understand from reading the book of Job, that the best encouragement Job received from his friends was when they were silent. At times silence really can be golden!

Why do I bring up words and their power? It’s because this is my struggle. Over the years I have used words that have hurt others, especially the ones I love the most! I don’t want to do that! I’ve given my opinion when it wasn’t asked for. And if I’m going to be honest, I paid less attention to what was being said and more attention to what I wanted to say. I don’t want to do that!

And yet, why do I do that? Is it because of my own insecurities that I feel the need to be heard? I’ve been talking to God a lot about this lately. I’m feeling deeply convicted about this struggle in my life. I want my words to build up not tear down. I want to show respect by actually listening to one speak and try to understand what they are saying. Go figure, I might just learn something if I can listen well!

This is a part of the faith journey I find myself on and I’m so grateful for the grace God pours all over my struggle in this area. After all, He knows it better than I do and I’m just so thankful I am a work in process and He’s the one transforming my heart!

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths,
but only such as is good for building up,
as fits the occasion,
that it may give grace to those who hear.
Ephesians 4:29 (ESV)

On the journey with you,
Dave Dravecky

Endurance for the Journey, Featured, Relationships

I, John, your brother and
companion in suffering
and kingdom and patient endurance
that are ours in Jesus …
REVELATION 1:9 (NIV)

The Apostle John calls himself “your brother and companion in suffering and kingdom and patient endurance that are ours in Jesus.” Interesting choice of words!

John knew that shared suffering binds you to your fellow sufferers. Veterans from World War II know this. So do survivors of cancer, a plane crash or the polio epidemic of the 50s. Roommates in a hospital ward feel it.

When you are in the trenches, handing bullets to your buddy and fighting a common enemy, hearts can’t help but be pressed together. Your knowledge of each other is unique and intimate.

And when you share the common bond of knowing Jesus Christ, you are doubly blessed for you are truly “brothers and companions in the suffering and kingdom and patient endurance” that are yours in Jesus!

JONI EARECKSON TADA

We are confident that
as you share in our sufferings,
you will also share in the
comfort God gives us.
2 CORINTHIANS 1:7 (NLT)

On the journey with you,
Jan & Dave Dravecky

Endurance for the Journey, Featured, Relationships

Dear Friends, let us love one another,
for love comes from God.
Everyone who loves has been born of God
and knows God.
1 JOHN 4:7 (NIV)

Before I went through my season of suffering, I had friends, but I didn’t understand how important those relationships really were. Sure, I enjoyed my friends. It was nice to have them. But it didn’t seem to me that I needed those relationships. Boy, did that change!

I learned that you cannot get through pain and suffering on your own. You eventually come to the end of yourself, and you need another person there to stand beside you and lift you up. To have a friend who is willing to make the personal sacrifice to be with you so that you are not alone is a powerful thing. When I was struggling, it was really important to know that my close friends were willing to sacrifice for me. Their sacrifice was a demonstration of God’s love for me.

This is how we’ve come to understand and experience love:
Christ sacrificed His love for us.
This is why we ought to live sacrificially for our fellow believers,
and not just be out for ourselves.
If you see some brother or sister in need
and have the means to do something about it
but turn a cold shoulder and do nothing,
what happens to God’s love?
It disappears. And you made it disappear.
My dear children, let’s not just talk about love;
let’s practice real love.
This is the only way we’ll know we’re living truly,
living in God’s reality.
1 JOHN 3:16-18 (THE MESSAGE)

On the journey with you,
Dave Dravecky

Endurance for the Journey, Featured, Relationships

Then the Lord God said,
“It is not good that the man be alone.”
GENESIS 2:18

I would like to share what I hope will be some words of encouragement. These are not my words but the words of a pastor I have tremendous respect for. His name is Bryan Loritts. I had the privilege of listening to a message he shared during an interview that I believe will encourage us all.

His message revolved around his response to the racial tensions and fears we are experiencing in our nation right now. However, It is also appropriate for those of us who are walking alongside someone who is suffering.

There are four powerful words he uses to encourage us. We need to first LAMENT, then LISTEN and LEARN, and then respond or receive in LOVE.

LAMENT – Most of us would struggle with understanding how to lament or grieve when faced with difficult news. Especially when we find ourselves hearing the word cancer for the first time. I don’t know if I thought of it being a form of lament when I was first diagnosed, but now looking back, I lamented the news. It grieved me to think that I was about to go on a journey where I could potentially lose my career or maybe even my life.

LISTEN – For the person on the receiving end of bad news listening can be a struggle. And as we all know, trusting the words of that doctor or counselor or deliverer of the difficult news and understanding the plan is critical. That is why, it is so important to have an advocate with you. A loved one who can help you understand – who can listen on your behalf. Also, listening to other’s stories who have walked a similar path – much can be learned.

LEARN – Obviously learning follows what we’ve just heard. We learn through listening to the doctors and counselors and the stories of others. We learn what others have experienced and what we possibly are about to go through. We gain an understanding of the situation that helps us to be emotionally prepared as best we can. And trust me, at least for myself, even with the information it was still very difficult to face what I was about to go through!

LOVE – In the end, as we face whatever trial we are going through, knowing we are loved becomes a powerful part of giving us the courage we will need to face the uncertainty of what lies ahead! Knowing we are not alone on this journey means everything to the one going through it. To love others binds us together on the journey so that no one is alone.

That is why Jan and I consider it a privilege to come alongside the hurting together with all of you. Thank you for making this ministry possible by your prayers and continued faithful support.

Above all, clothe yourselves in love,
which binds us all together in harmony.
COLOSSIANS 3:14 (NLT)

On the journey with you,
Dave Dravecky