The most perfect people in the world have imperfections, and so do we.
And sometimes it is quite difficult for us to tolerate each other.
We are to “bear one another’s burdens,
and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Galations 6:2),
and I think this means, among other things,
that we are to bear the burden of each other’s imperfections.
FENELON

One precious treasure I uncovered was learning not to expect perfection in relationships. No matter how much we long and strive for perfection – we will always fail. We all have strengths and gifts but we also all have weaknesses and warts.

For everyone has sinned;
we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.
ROMANS 3:23 (NLT)

So learning to accept people and ourselves – warts and all – is very important. I had been guilty of thinking that if anything went wrong in a relationship it was over. I learned that relationships are a continual work in progress. I learned how to work through the challenges in order to experience the richness of the relationships God had given me.

Another treasure was discovering the power of grace in relationships. Grace is being able to love others and ourselves despite their warts and ours. What could be more precious than the security of knowing that another person loves and accepts you even when he or she sees the ugly part of you! What could be more valuable than to give that love, acceptance and resulting security to another!

There is no doubt that adversity experienced in the valley of suffering tests every one of our relationships. But adversity also has a way of strengthening our relationships by eliminating the trivial, exposing what is false and focusing our attention on the true nature of our relationships. Some relationships will not endure the pressure of adversity but others – even relationships that have been miserable for years – will emerge strengthened and restored. What a priceless treasure!

Overlook an offense and bond a friendship;
fasten on to a slight and – good-bye, friend!
PROVERBS 17:9 (THE MESSAGE)

On the journey with you,
Jan Dravecky

Prayer, Relationships, The Treasure of Relationships, Words of Endurance

Uncovering the Riches of Relationships

By connie on

November 12, 2014

- Prayer, Relationships, The Treasure of Relationships, Words of Endurance

Two people are better off than one,
for they can help each other succeed.
If one person falls, the other can reach out and help.
But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.
ECCLESIASTES 4:9-10 (NLT)

We don’t normally expect to find treasures in the darkness of adversity or riches in the valley of suffering but God gives us rich rewards even in these desolate places. One of the greatest riches God prepares for us in the valley is the discovery of the treasure of relationships. I will never forget the day I first caught a glimpse of this magnificent treasure. It changed my life.

I had become desperately depressed and I was seeing a counselor to help me climb out of the dark pit into which I had fallen. As we talked, the counselor casually asked me if I had any friends.

I immediately answered, “Of course! I have tons of friends!”

He then asked me how many of my friends needed me. I proudly responded, “All of them!”

Then he asked the question that would rock my world, “How many of your friends do you need?”

I pondered his question for what seemed like a long time because I could not believe my answer. I sheepishly admitted, “None of them.” This was a shocking revelation to both of us.

My counselor gently explained that God never intended relationships to be the way I described mine. God never intended relationships to be a one-way street. God made us to love and to be loved. No wonder I was dying on the inside! I had not allowed myself to need anyone.

Afterward our discussion troubled me. I began praying and asking God why I hadn’t allowed myself to need anyone. The answer came to me unexpectedly in the shower one day (I do a lot of talking to God when I am in the shower!). I realized that the one person I had needed the most had been my mother. When she died my pain was so great I decided I would never need anyone again the way that I had needed her. From that point on, I lived to love others but never allowed myself to receive the love from others.

No wonder I was lonely and depressed. I wasn’t bonded to anyone. My relationships needed work.

The realization that I needed healthy relationships in my life was truly a treasure. It caused me to assess all of my relationships. I determined which ones were healthy – which ones were unhealthy. I began making changes to improve the relationships that were unhealthy. I also began to seek out healthy peer relationships – two way street relationships – where I gave but I also received.

I also had realized that I had fallen alone and that was why I found myself in real trouble. I need others – what a revelation – what a treasure!

Just as lotions and fragrance give sensual delight, a sweet friendship refreshes the soul. PROVERBS 27:9 (THE MESSAGE)

On the journey with you,
Jan Dravecky

Grief, Pain, Prayer, Relationships, The Treasure of Relationships, Words of Endurance

The Treasure of Relationships

By connie on

November 7, 2014

- Grief, Pain, Prayer, Relationships, The Treasure of Relationships, Words of Endurance

Then the Lord God said,
“It is not good for the man to be alone.”
GENESIS 2:18 (NLT)

It is not good for anyone to do life alone but there was a time in my life when I thought I didn’t really need relationships. Sure I appreciated my family and friends but I had no idea that having healthy relationships was absolutely essential to a healthy life. I didn’t realize God had created us in such a way that we simply cannot live without relationships but my need for close healthy relationship would be enlightened when Dave and I entered our valley of suffering.

I discovered that when we go through times of adversity or suffering our need for others intensifies – and that can be a problem. Why? Because any kind of pain, adversity or suffering will test our relationships.

We aren’t at our best when we hurt. Our weaknesses, flaws and ugliness rise to the surface and the result isn’t pretty. We offend others more easily and we are more easily offended. Under that pressure, relationships can crumble. At the very time we need good relationships the most, those relationships often become more difficult.

The good news is that it is possible to honestly and lovingly work through the relational difficulties that suffering exposes. Relationships can grow and mature to become true treasures under the pressure of suffering. We can emerge from the darkness of suffering with healthier, stronger relationships – I know that from my own personal experience.

My prayer is that in the upcoming Words of Endurance that they will help you see the true value of your relationships and enable you to deal with the inevitable relational challenges one faces in the darkness. I know personally the refining process may be difficult and painful but I also know the rewards of stronger and healthier relationships are absolutely unbelievable and priceless!

Friends love through all kinds of weather,
and families stick together in all kinds of trouble.
PROVERBS 17:17 (THE MESSAGE)

Praying for all who are seeking the treasure,
Jan Dravecky

Doubt, Fear, Relationships, Words of Endurance

Endurance for the Journey Next Steps: Receive Support From Others

By connie on

August 20, 2014

- Doubt, Fear, Relationships, Words of Endurance

Receive Support From Others

It’s better to have a partner than go it alone.
Share the work, share the wealth.
And if one falls down, the other helps,
But if there’s no one to help, tough! ECCLESIASTES 4:9-10 (THE MESSAGE)

One of the hardest things for me along my journey was to receive help from others. I wanted to endure on my own – not rely on anyone but myself. Unfortunately, the journey becomes extremely lonely and difficult when we try to go it alone.

God said, “It’s not good for the Man to be alone …” GENESIS 2:18 (THE MESSAGE)

Being an amputee I need a lot of physical support. Initially I tried to do everything on my own – dress myself – put my luggage in the overhead bin – hang our Christmas lights. Pride got in the way. I did not want to humble myself and ask for help so I would struggle through the task. Eventually I would become frustrated and then angry. It was not a pretty picture.

I have learned through the years though that I do need physical help – though humbling it sure makes life a lot easier. Jan now tucks in my pockets, puts my belt through the loops I cannot reach and ties my shoes. When someone offers to put my luggage in the overhead bin – I gladly accept his or her help. As for the Christmas lights – I no longer hang them!

Along the journey I also have needed emotional support. I needed the listening ear and understanding heart of a trusted family member or friend. I needed a ‘safe person’ to whom I could open my heart – share my fears and doubts – cry with – and not be judged.

Fortunately for me I found that ‘safe person’ in Jan. She has listened to me, cried for me when I could not, just held me when there were no words and loved me when I did not deserve it. But at the same time, I can’t tell you how many times she has given me a swift kick that has challenged me to move forward again.

It is personal interaction such as this – the gentle hug and the swift kick – that helped me take those next steps forward. It can come only from someone tangible – someone you can touch, feel, see and trust. When someone reaches out to me I experience the awesome gift of God’s expression of love towards me.

“Modern research echoes
what the Bible has said for centuries:
people who have intimate connections
in which they are vulnerable and honest
generally live better, function at higher levels,
and heal faster than those
who are isolated or distant from others.
We all need the fuel of love and relationship
to continue growing and healing.”
Dr. John Townsend

When I experienced the dark night of the soul I desperately needed spiritual support. During that time I had no desire to even pick up the Bible to read. That was when Jan would step up and offer to read to me – to encourage me. She became my Bible. I was humbled.

The majority of that time I didn’t feel like praying but that was when my closest friends would come alongside and pray for me. In my darkest moments I often would receive a call or a card from a friend or a group from church saying that they were praying for me. I was so grateful that they stood in the gap for me – this encouraged me to take steps forward.

Let’s see how inventive we can be
in encouraging love and helping out,
not avoiding worshiping together as some do
but spurring each other on,
especially as we see the big Day approaching.
HEBREWS 10:25 (THE MESSAGE)

Remember my friends while there are seasons in our lives for giving – there are also seasons for receiving. As humbling as it may be, learning to receive physical, emotional and spiritual help will lighten your burden and help you to endure the journey.

“Friendship is one of the sweetest joys of life.
Many might have failed
beneath the bitterness of their trial
had they not found a friend.”
CHARLES HADDON SPURGEON

On the journey with you,
Dave Dravecky

Discovering Who I Am, Relationships, Words of Endurance

Giving Others Permission

By Nathan Solla on

February 28, 2013

- Discovering Who I Am, Relationships, Words of Endurance

The heartfelt counsel of a friend
is as sweet as perfume and incense.
PROVERBS 27:9 (THE MESSAGE)

We all long for strong healthy friendships because deep down inside we know how much we need them to journey with through this life. We desire to trust our friends with who we truly are knowing that – no matter what – we will still be loved and accepted. And we also desire to have friends that we can trust to give us heartfelt counsel and are willing to be honest with us.

An honest answer
is like a warm hug.
PROVERBS 24:26 (THE MESSAGE)

The defining moment in a friendship is when you give your friend permission to speak into your life. But whenever we take this step there is always an element of risk – a risk that we may be hurt. But the Scripture reminds us that …

Wounds from a sincere friend
are better than many kisses from an enemy.
PROVERBS 27:6 (NLT)

I have found this to be so true in my own friendships – I can trust the heartfelt counsel of a sincere friend even when it hurts because their only motive is to see me mature into who I truly am. I can trust that their heart is not to harm me but to encourage me on the journey.

The right word at the right time
is like a custom-made piece of jewelry,
And a wise friend’s timely reprimand
is like a gold ring slipped on your finger.
PROVERBS 25:11-12

I have learned though that this kind of trust does not happen over night but that it develops over time. I can honestly tell you that I have only just over the last couple of years realized that I have this type of trusted relationship with only a handful of friends for which I am forever grateful.

A closing thought – friendship is a two way street – it is when you give permission and are given permission that a healthy friendship can begin to grow.

On the Journey with You,
Dave Dravecky

Discovering Who I Am, Relationships, Words of Endurance

Trusting Others With Who I Am

By connie on

February 20, 2013

- Discovering Who I Am, Relationships, Words of Endurance

A friend loves you all the time
PROVERBS 17:17 (NCV)

I love the book of Proverbs. It truly is the Book of Wisdom. Last week we learned from Proverbs how important it is to journey through life with wise, safe and trustworthy friends. There is nothing like a true friend who loves us through the good times and the bad times.

The next step is learning to trust those friends – removing the masks that we think they will like and accept – and allowing those friends to see who we truly are underneath those masks. That is a scary step for most of us – I know it was for me – especially within the Christian community. Because …

We gain admiration and respect from behind a mask. We can even intimidate. But as long as we’re behind a mask, any mask, we will not be able to receive love. Then, in our desperation to be loved, we’ll rush to fashion more masks, hoping the next will give us what we’re longing for: To be known, accepted, trusted and loved THE CURE (JOHN LYNCH, BRUCE MCNICHOL, BILL THRALL)

And the truth is that mask wearing stunts our growth – our maturing process. We will never mature into who we truly are until we learn to remove our masks and reveal our struggles and weaknesses with trustworthy friends. The purpose of friendships is to help one another grow and mature – sharpening us into who we never dreamed we could be.

As iron sharpens iron,
so a friend sharpens a friend.
PROVERBS 27:17 (NLT)

On the Journey with You,
Dave Dravecky

Discovering Who I Am, Relationships, Words of Endurance

Journeying With Others

By Nathan Solla on

February 15, 2013

- Discovering Who I Am, Relationships, Words of Endurance

God said, “It’s not good for the Man to be alone;
I’ll make him a helper, a companion.”
GENESIS 2:18 (THE MESSAGE)

It is true that we cannot do this life alone – God never meant for us to do it alone. We need our relationship with God but we also need real relationships with others as we journey through this life together. We need one another in order to mature into who we truly are.

Because not all people are “safe people” the Scripture does instruct us that we do need to be careful about WHO we choose to journey through life with …

Godly people are careful about the friends they choose.
PROVERBS 12:26 (NIRV)

And the type of friends we can trust and walk with …

Become wise by walking with the wise;
hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces.
PROVERBS 13:20 (THE MESSAGE)

I know for me I am so grateful for my true, wise, trusted, and safe friends and family who have skipped along the mountaintops with me and celebrated each triumph and yet they didn’t dessert me when I trudged through the valleys of life with all my personal struggles. I thank God that …

Friends love through all kinds of weather,
and families stick together in all kinds of trouble.
PROVERBS 17:17 (THE MESSAGE)

My prayer for all of you on this journey is that you are not journeying this life alone. I pray that you have true and trustworthy friends and family to journey with through life. And if you do not – because you do not know if you can trust anyone – then I pray that God will heal your broken heart and give you the courage to open your heart and learn to trust others again. Because remember and know …

Friends come and friends go,
but a true friend sticks by you like family.
PROVERBS 18:24 (THE MESSAGE)

On the Journey with You,
Dave Dravecky

Discovering Who I Am, Relationships, Words of Endurance

We Are An Open Book Before God

By connie on

February 5, 2013

- Discovering Who I Am, Relationships, Words of Endurance

I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I’d even lived one day.
PSALM 139:13-16 (THE MESSAGE)

I just recently visited the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center and one of the highlights was when I was able to visit the laboratory where they are studying the cell for the purpose of stem cell transplants. As the scientist explained how each cell functions and all that these cells do in protecting us – I stood in awe! I was amazed at how marvelously made we are! I could only cry out as King David did in Psalm 139 – what a creation we are – created by the Great Creator!

He knows us inside and out – which means He knows our hearts – the very seat of our being. There is no hiding our hearts from Him. And what is even harder for me to grasp – harder for me to wrap my finite human mind around – is that even though He knows my heart He still loves me!

I am an open book before God – one more reason that I do not need to try and hide my heart from God because I can’t! This is one more good reason to shed my masks and be real before God! This is one more good reason that I can trust God with who I truly am – warts and all – because …

I’m an open book to you;
even from a distance, you know what I’m thinking.
You know when I leave and when I get back;
I’m never out of your sight.
You know everything I’m going to say
before I start the first sentence.
I look behind me and you’re there,
then up ahead and you’re there, too—
your reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful—
I can’t take it all in!
PSALM 139:1-6 (THE MESSAGE)

On the Journey with You,
Dave Dravecky

Discovering Who I Am, Healing, Relationships, Words of Endurance

Accepting Help

By Nathan Solla on

September 18, 2012

- Discovering Who I Am, Healing, Relationships, Words of Endurance

Now that we know what we have—Jesus,
this great High Priest with ready access to God—
let’s not let it slip through our fingers.
We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality.
He’s been through weakness and testing,
experienced it all—all but the sin.
So let’s walk right up to him
and get what he is so ready to give.
Take the mercy, accept the help.
HEBREWS 4:16 (THE MESSAGE)

In admitting my weakness, I finally found strength but that strength did not come from within me. I discovered that the often-quoted adage, “God helps those who help themselves,” is not in the Bible nor is it a true fact of life. I needed help and I needed the help from Jesus and others – it was through them that I found my strength.

A woman once told me a joke: How do we know that Moses was a man? Because he wandered forty years in the wilderness and never once stopped to ask for directions. She thought it was funnier than I did. She was laughing at the fact that many men seem willing to go to almost any length to avoid having to ask for help. I don’t know if it’s a part of our culture or a part of our nature but I know from personal experience that asking for help is about the last thing I wanted to do.

As an amputee I needed help more often than a guy with a full set of limbs. There were a lot of little things I could no longer do for myself. Even though I accepted the fact that I now faced challenges that call for help it was not easy for me to admit. My shoulder, arm, and hand may have been gone but in my mind, I was still a jock – a self-sufficient, self-made guy. Prideful, I wanted to believe that I could make it on my own.

One of my greatest challenges in my maturing process was admitting that I needed help and that I will continue to need help. It was humbling. I needed help in most ways – from the smallest thing like asking someone to tie my shoes or letting someone cut my meat – to the emotional adjustments, Jan and I made with the help of a counselor. When I finally came to grips with the fact that I needed to ask others for help – I passed a marker on the road to maturity.

It was hard for me to even ask Jan for help but when I finally did accept her help I was extremely grateful for what Jan did for me. She was my advocate – the one who took the time and made the effort to find out what help I needed. She was my encourager – the one who came alongside me and helped me keep move forward. When I began to feel a bit better about what I was up against I was able to take bigger steps on my own but until I got to that place I needed a lot of help and encouragement. It was so true that …

It’s better to have a partner than go it alone.
… if one falls down, the other helps,
ECCLESIASTES 4:9-10 (THE MESSAGE)

Don’t be afraid to ask and accept help from others and don’t be afraid to ask and accept help from God. Don’t let your pride get in the way of you receiving the help you need because when you humble yourself before others and before God you will be lifted up – God has promised!

So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God,
and at the right time, he will lift you up in honor.
1 PETER 5:6 (NLT)

On the journey with you,
Dave Dravecky

Endurance for the Journey, Healing, Hope, Loneliness, Relationships, Words of Endurance

Run With Perseverance: Rely on your Support Team

By Nathan Solla on

February 20, 2012

- Endurance for the Journey, Healing, Hope, Loneliness, Relationships, Words of Endurance

Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
ECCLESIASTES 4:9-10

Baseball is a team sport.

As a pitcher, I relied on the seven players behind me and the one in front of me to make the plays behind me so that we could complete and hopefully win the game. If not for my team’s support I would have to strike out every batter at the plate – that would not be good and would be nearly impossible to accomplish.

Enduring the journey through life takes team support.

The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.”
GENESIS 2:18

It is not good to travel through life alone – especially when your travel takes you through the valley of suffering. If you want to make it to the other side it sure is a lot easier with the help and support of others – you need a support team.

So take the initiative to ask for help and be willing to receive help when it is offered.

Many friends and family earnestly want to help. They are God’s gift to us. They are more than just a gift to enjoy when the journey of life is going well – they’re a gift to employ when our lives are turned upside down and we find ourselves struggling up a long difficult hill or down into that deep dark valley.

I know that in my own experience it was hard for me to allow others to help – I wanted to be able to do it myself. But I know when I finally admitted that I needed the help of others – when I humbled myself and finally received their help – I was blessed. The journey was a whole lot easier.

My family and friends that came alongside me became God’s hands and feet – God’s provision for me – helping me endure the journey so that I would run through my valley with perseverance. They helped me make it to the other side.

By helping each other with your troubles, you truly obey the law of Christ.
GALATIANS 6:2 (New Century Version)

On the journey with you,
Dave Dravecky

Grace, Guilt, Relationships, The Treasure of Relationships, Words of Endurance

Part II-Uncovering the Riches of Relationships

Prayer, Relationships, The Treasure of Relationships, Words of Endurance

Uncovering the Riches of Relationships

Grief, Pain, Prayer, Relationships, The Treasure of Relationships, Words of Endurance

The Treasure of Relationships

Doubt, Fear, Relationships, Words of Endurance

Endurance for the Journey Next Steps: Receive Support From Others

Discovering Who I Am, Relationships, Words of Endurance

Giving Others Permission

Discovering Who I Am, Relationships, Words of Endurance

Trusting Others With Who I Am

Discovering Who I Am, Relationships, Words of Endurance

Journeying With Others

Discovering Who I Am, Relationships, Words of Endurance

We Are An Open Book Before God

Discovering Who I Am, Healing, Relationships, Words of Endurance

Accepting Help

Endurance for the Journey, Healing, Hope, Loneliness, Relationships, Words of Endurance

Run With Perseverance: Rely on your Support Team

Useful Links

Connect

Dravecky Fan Corner