Healing, Pain, Walking Beside the Weak & Wounded, Words of Endurance

There is a time for everything,
and everything on earth has its special season.
There is a time to be silent
and a time to speak.
ECCLESIASTES 3:1,7 (NCV)

While there is definitely a time to be silent and listen when walking beside the weak and wounded– there is also a time to speak life-giving words of encouragement and comfort.

The right word spoken at the right time
is as beautiful as gold apples in a silver bowl.
PROVERBS 25:11 (NCV)

But remember …

When you talk, do not say harmful things,
but say what people need—
words that will help others become stronger.
Then what you say will do good to those who listen to you.
EPHESIANS 4:29 (NCV)

Let thy speech be better than silence – or be silent.
DIONYSIUS THE ELDER

Encouraging and comforting words are healing physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Words of comfort, skillfully administered,
are the oldest therapy known to man.
LOUIS NIZER

An anxious heart weighs a man down,
but a kind word cheers him up.
PROVERBS 12:25

Pleasant words are like a honeycomb,
making people happy and healthy.
PROVERBS 16:24 (NCV)

And you will find that as you bless the weak and wounded with your life-giving words – you too will be blessed.

The world is full of discouragers.
We have a Christian duty to encourage one another.
Many a time a word of praise or thanks or appreciation or cheer
has kept a man on his feet.
Blessed is the man who speaks such a word.
WILLIAM BARCLAY

So encourage each other
and give each other strength
1 THESSALONIANS 5:11 (NCV)

On the journey with you,
Dave & Jan Dravecky

Healing, Pain, Walking Beside the Weak & Wounded, Words of Endurance

Three of Job’s friends heard of all the trouble that had fallen on him. Each traveled from his own country—
Eliphaz from Teman, Bildad from Shuhah, Zophar from Naamath—
and went together to Job to keep him company and comfort him.
When they first caught sight of him,
they couldn’t believe what they saw—they hardly recognized him!
They cried out in lament, ripped their robes, and dumped dirt
on their heads as a sign of their grief.
Then they sat with him on the ground.
Seven days and nights they sat there without saying a word.
They could see how rotten he felt,
how deeply he was suffering.
JOB 2:11-13 (THE MESSAGE)

The best encouragement that Job received from his friends was given in the first seven days and nights when they sat there without saying a word. Scripture encourages us to …

“… weep with those who weep.“
ROMANS 12:15

Which is exactly what they did and Job was encouraged but his discouragement began when they ended their silence and weeping and decided to speak and give reasons for his suffering.

“I’ve had all I can take of your talk.
What a bunch of miserable comforters!
Is there no end to your windbag speeches?
What’s your problem that you go on and on like this?
If you were in my shoes,
I could talk just like you.
I could put together a terrific harangue
and really let you have it.
But I’d never do that. I’d console and comfort,
make things better, not worse!”
JOB 16:1-5 (THE MESSAGE)

Like Job’s encouragers, many of us feel that we have to have answers for our hurting friends. Maybe because …

We are a “teller” society.
We have never discovered the power of the ear.
When someone tells us his/her problems
we think we must have an answer.
If we have no answer we …
either give shallow answers or just run from the question.
DOUG MANNING

Or perhaps …

Perhaps to defend God’s honor,
Or to try to make some sense of what has happened
Or simply to put the whole thing in the past,
Most would-be comforters are convinced that something must be said.
DAVE BIEBEL

But the truth is that more times than not – we do not have the answers to our friends suffering. But the good news is that you don’t have to and remember …

Even fools seem to be wise if they keep quiet;
if they don’t speak, they appear to understand.
PROVERBS 17:28

On the journey with you,
Dave & Jan Dravecky

Healing, Pain, Walking Beside the Weak & Wounded, Words of Endurance

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters:
You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak
JAMES 1:19 (NLT)

When a family member or a friend is hurting our ears are needed at least twice as much as our mouths – perhaps that is why we have two ears and only one mouth! Perhaps that is why the Scripture encourages us to listen and urges caution when we speak. The Scripture also reminds us that there is …

A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
ECCLESIASTES 3:7 (NLT)

The hurting needs a listening ear and heart – someone before whom they can be totally honest. They need a safe place to uncover their pain – reveal their questions and doubts – so that healing can begin.

“A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere,
before whom I may think out loud.”
RALPH WALDO EMERSON

A safe listener and friend gives a hurting person complete freedom to express whatever they are feeling inside – good, bad or indifferent. A safe listener and friend is not there to judge or offer solutions – he or she is there to offer a sanctuary of grace.

“What do you do when a hurting friend
says things that are irreverent – or worse?
Rejoice! Not in your friend’s impiety
But in the willingness to entrust her pain to you.“
DAVE BEIBEL

A safe listener is also a wise active listener. A good listener asks the right questions – ones that delve beneath the surface and help a hurting friend understand and express deep thoughts and feelings:

• We have talked about everyone else – how are you doing?


• What are you doing to cope? What are you doing for yourself?


• Is this … what you are feeling?


• Do you understand why you feel that way?


• That seems difficult for you. Would you like to talk about it more?

A friend listens intently – makes eye contact, leans forward, expresses agreement or nods – to whatever a hurting friend says even if it has been said many times before. Take a tip from nature – your ears are not made to shut but your mouth is!

A despairing man should have the devotion of his friends
JOB 6:14 (NIV)

“He who can no longer listen to his brother
will soon no longer be listening to God either.”
DIETRICH BONHOEFFER

On the journey with you,
Dave & Jan Dravecky