Then the Lord God said,
“It is not good for the man to be alone.”
GENESIS 2:18 (NLT)
Loneliness is the first problem God addressed in the Garden of Eden and He declared it “not good.” Why? God created us for relationships. He designed us to connect with or bond with God and others. Despite our design specifications many of us admit to being “relationally challenged.” We don’t bond well. We don’t know how to have healthy, intimate, life-affirming relationships. Perhaps that is why the Barna Research Group reports that half of all adults say they are still trying to find a few good friends.
So what is bonding? In his book, Changes That Heal, Christian psychologist Henry Cloud describes it as …
“… the ability to establish an emotional attachment to another person. It is the ability to relate to another person on the deepest level.
When two people have a bond with each other, they share their deepest thoughts, dreams, and feelings with each other with no fear that the other person will reject them.”
Dr. Cloud goes on to describe what happens when we don’t bond with others …
“The soul cannot prosper without being connected to others. No matter what characteristics we possess or what accomplishments we amass, without solid emotional connectedness, without bonding to God and other humans, we will suffer sickness of the soul.”
When we are not bonded to anyone that is when we are lonely. When we are disconnected from others we miss out on their strength and wisdom during difficult times. Our self-esteem falters because we aren’t receiving affirmation or encouragement from people who care about us. Without the input of true friends and close family members to help bring balance and perspective to our emotions, our thoughts can turn inward and dark.
Other indications of a lack of bonding can include depression, feelings of detachment, feeling unloved, defensiveness and addiction. The longer we remain unbonded, the lonelier, more unwanted and more unlovable we may feel.
No one wants our wounded hearts healed more than God. He knows how much we need each other. He knows how much we need Him so that we can endure the hardships and celebrate the victories of life. God who is near to the brokenhearted, promises to give us the strength and wisdom we need to heal. More than anything else – He does not want us to do it alone.
Two people are better off than one,
for they can help each other succeed.
If one person falls, the other can reach out and help.
But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.
ECCLESIASTES 4:9-10 (NLT)
On the journey with you,
Dave & Jan Dravecky