Depression, Guilt, Hope, On the Journey Together, Words of Endurance

“I’m baptizing you here in the river
turning your old life in for a kingdom life.
The real action comes next:
The main character in this drama –
compared to him I’m a mere stagehand –
will ignite the kingdom life within you,
a fire within you, the Holy Spirit within you,
changing you from the inside out.
He’s going to clean house –
make a clean sweep of your lives.”
MATTHEW 3:11-12

It had become obvious to me that I was totally powerless to “change” from my old life after countless futile attempts – trying in my own strength. I felt hopeless. I was stuck in my own muck and mire. I felt much shame for not being able to “fix” myself.

I had recently been told that “The Cure” for my old life was to trust God and others with who I truly am. This was a scary step for me to take because I had worn so many masks to please others. How do I dare trust others with my true heart?

But I wanted so much for the Holy Spirit to make a “clean sweep” of my life. After years of my low-lying depression I could no longer feel the presence of God but I knew from my past depressions that God’s presence is not dependent upon my feelings. I would have to trust the God within me that I could not sense and the God within others to guide me out of my darkness by bringing the true me out into His light.

Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do everywhere you go;
He’s the one who will keep you on track.

On The Journey With You,
Jan Dravecky