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Grace, Guilt, On the Journey Together, Words of Endurance

Ridding Me of My Shame

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November 9, 2016

- Grace, Guilt, On the Journey Together, Words of Endurance

Every day I’m up against it,
my nose rubbed in my shame –
PSALM 44:15 (THE MESSAGE)



While I have seen the Holy Spirit within me temper my words in tone and season them with love, whenever I am reminded of the damage that I have caused with my words in the past I feel “my nose rubbed in shame.” But whenever I am “tweaked” by shame I am reminded of a sermon given by our Pastor Ken Van Vliet on James 3:1-13. That Scripture reminded me of the power of my tongue.



A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse.
A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain
sets a course in the face of the strongest winds.
A word out of your mouth may seem of no account,
but it can accomplish nearly anything – or destroy it.
JAMES 3:3-5 (THE MESSAGE)



Once again I felt the shame of my past but Pastor Ken didn’t leave us there – he continued by reminding us that we are fully loved by God.



None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us.
I’m absolutely convinced that nothing –
nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic,
today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable of unthinkable –
absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love
because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.
ROMANS 8:35-39 (THE MESSAGE)



He then urged us to pay attention to our words for they are the windows into our true being.



“Your true being brims over into true words and deeds.”
LUKE 6:45 (WORDS OF JESUS – THE MESSAGE)



And then he encouraged us to confess to God what our words reveal about our true beings.



If we admit our sins – make a clean breast of them –
He won’t let us down; He’ll be true to Himself.
He’ll forgive our sins and purge us of all wrongdoing.
1 JOHN 1:9 (THE MESSAGE)



Pastor Ken then reminded us that we could invite Jesus to heal our brokenness.



The Spirit of God, the Master, is on me
because God anointed me.
He sent me to preach good news to the poor,
heal the heartbroken,
ISAIAH 61:1-2 (THE MESSAGE)



And that is exactly what the Holy Spirit, within me, did – I went to Him for help and He healed my heart and rid me of my shame.



Those who look to Him for help will be radiant with joy;
no shadow of shame will darken their faces.
PSALM 34:5 (NLT)



On The Journey With You,
Dave Dravecky

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Grace, Hope, On the Journey Together, Words of Endurance

Trusting the Holy Spirit Within Me

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October 21, 2016

- Grace, Hope, On the Journey Together, Words of Endurance

But I need something more!
For if I know the law but still can’t keep it,
and if the power of sin within me keeps
sabotaging my best intentions,
I obviously need help!
I can will it, but I can’t do it.
ROMANS 7:17-19 (THE MESSAGE)



As I have shared before, these past five years have been one of the most significant seasons of my spiritual journey. I have learned about the power of my words and the hurt they can inflict but I have also learned that I, alone, cannot manage this sin. It is impossible, trust me, I’ve tried it and frustratingly it doesn’t work.



What I have been learning over these past five years is that I can trust the Holy Spirit within me to guide and transform my heart. I can trust that while my flesh is always with me so is the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit can reflect the person of Jesus in me for the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness and self control which my flesh is incapable of. The result of trusting the Holy Spirit within me is words spoken that affirm and don’t tear down.



Has this been easy? No! Trusting was really letting go of everything I thought was the way I “should” live and then relying on the Holy Spirit to transform my heart to speak the words that express my love and care, that encourage and build people up instead of tearing them down.



I really don’t know how else to explain it but I’ve discovered that this really does work! Although I haven’t been perfect my words have been more encouraging, more loving, more caring and understanding. I have learned to listen more and speak less. The result is my life looks so different today than it used to. It is more than just the words I speak – it is the way I am living and it has been oh so freeing!



Those who think they can do it on their own
end up obsessed with measuring their own moral muscle
but never get around to exercising it in real life.
Those who trust God’s action in them
find that God’s Spirit is in them –
living and breathing God!
Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end;
attention to God leads us out into the open,
into a spacious free life.
ROMANS 8:5-7 (THE MESSAGE)



On The Journey With You,
Dave Dravecky

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Fear, Grace, Hope, On the Journey Together, Words of Endurance

The Challenge to Trust Others

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October 6, 2016

- Fear, Grace, Hope, On the Journey Together, Words of Endurance

“I, yes I, am the one who comforts you.
So why are you afraid of mere humans,
who wither like the grass and disappear?”
ISAIAH 51:12 (WORDS OF THE LORD TO ISAIAH-THE MESSAGE)



Trusting the Holy Spirit to lead me out of my darkness was a relatively easy step for me to take. He had turned my darkness into light before – I trusted that He would again. No one knows my heart better – the good, the bad and the ugly – and nothing about my true self could separate me from His Unconditional Love.



But the harder challenge for me was to trust others who had conditional love for me. How could I trust others with who I truly am when I fear them? The Holy Spirit has shown me at the core of my people-pleasing nature is the fear of human disapproval especially from the ones I love and respect.



This fear has caused me to hide behind the masks I have worn my entire married life and bury my true feelings deep inside my soul. I put my true self in captivity. But thank you Lord that You came to set the captives free! I now know that I can trust others with my true self because I can trust You to protect my heart. However, knowing and living this truth out are two different things. I am on a journey.



The fear of human opinion disables;
trusting in God protects you from that.
PROVERBS 29:25 (THE MESSAGE)



On The Journey With You,
Jan Dravecky

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Grace, Guilt, On the Journey Together, Pain, Words of Endurance

Freedom to Be Me?

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September 15, 2016

- Grace, Guilt, On the Journey Together, Pain, Words of Endurance

Christ has set us free to live a free life.
So take your stand!
Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.
GALATIANS 5:1 (THE MESSAGE)



My entire adult life, my harness of slavery has been people pleasing. I have felt it my responsibility to make others happy. I love making my family and friends happy – happy with themselves and also happy with me. I always have tried to truthfully build up and encourage rather than tear down and criticize. I never wanted to hurt their hearts because when their hearts hurt so did mine.



I have a highly sensitive heart and if I would sense that someone was experiencing any anger or disappointment with me that would crush my heart. I would immediately feel it was my fault. I would apologize and fix whatever I had done or eliminate my behavior. Unfortunately, this is how I lost myself when I put on masks to make others happy with me. After so many years those masks had become my identity.



So when Dave gave me the freedom to be “me” I honestly did not know who “me” was anymore. I realized that I was so busy making everybody else happy that I had totally forgotten who I was – my gifts – what I enjoyed – I had “self-forgot”.



God does not want us to “self-forget” because each one of us is “marvelously made” by Him. While that may be hard for some of us to believe we need to remember and ask God to let it sink deep into our hearts that He loves us and accepts us for who we truly are – warts and all. What freedom!



Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God – you’re breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made.
PSALM 139:13-14 (THE MESSAGE)



On The Journey With You,
Jan Dravecky

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Grace, On the Journey Together, Words of Endurance

The Gift of Grace

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September 9, 2016

- Grace, On the Journey Together, Words of Endurance

“Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.”
MATTHEW 11:29 (WORDS OF JESUS-THE MESSAGE)



I remember the day Dave began to learn the unforced rhythms of grace. He had been reading The Cure, when suddenly he placed the book down and walked into the kitchen. He looked me straight in the eyes and told me he was sorry for not loving me for who I truly was. From now on he was going to celebrate me.



Dave shared that he wanted to receive and experience God’s amazing gift of grace – The Original Good News. He confessed that he knew of no other person who was more grace filled for others than me and he, too, wanted to experience that grace for others. I felt God’s grace pour through him for me.



I started to cry as he spoke. I always knew that Dave loved me. But while I felt loved I did not feel that he liked me because he was always trying to change me – fix me. As a result, I would change to whatever he needed me to be in order to make him happy. Over the years I lost myself – I was so codependent with Dave.



But that day, Dave gave me a gift – the freedom to be me. He gave me permission to start the journey of rediscovering who I was apart from him and more importantly who I truly was before God. I realized that I needed to start receiving God’s amazing grace deep within myself. I knew of God’s grace for me in my head but I wanted to know it in my heart.



Receive and experience the amazing grace
of the Master, Jesus Christ,
deep, deep within yourselves.
PHILIPPIANS 4:23 (THE MESSAGE)



On The Journey With You,
Jan Dravecky

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Grace, Guilt, On the Journey Together, Words of Endurance

On the Journey Together

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August 31, 2016

- Grace, Guilt, On the Journey Together, Words of Endurance

I’ve been out of step with you for a long time,
in the wrong since before I was born.
What you’re after is truth from the inside out.
Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life.
PSALM 51:5-6 (THE MESSAGE)



My heart’s cry to God has always been “Lord, please change me from the inside out.” Sure I can put on a mask and change my outside appearance but what about my sinful desires? What about the part of me that still sins – that I don’t dare let others see? I know that God sees that sinful part of me so what good is it to appear to be holy on the outside when my heart still desires sin on the inside?



I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. ROMANS 7:24-25 (THE MESSAGE)



Dave was convinced that the path to pleasing God was to “fix” his own sin. And he was also convinced that he needed to fix our children and me. He had high expectations of himself and us. While his heart motive was to please God he always fell short causing him much frustration and shame.



Being the codependent that I am, I tried hard to please Dave (and God) by attempting to live up to Dave’s expectations but I always fell short – causing me much shame. My shame contributed to my low self-esteem and depression.



But thanks be to God, five years ago, Dave discovered a new path with God. He learned afresh the path to trusting God because of His Grace. His life began to change not from the outside in but from the inside out. Little did I know how Dave’s new path would answer my heart’s cry and would begin to change me, too, from the inside out.



Because of this decision we don’t evaluate people
by what they have or how they look.
We looked at the Messiah that way once
and got it all wrong, as you know.
We certainly don’t look at him that way anymore.
Now we look inside and what we see
is that anyone united with the Messiah
gets a fresh start, is created new.
The old life is gone; a new life burgeons!
Look at it! All this comes from God …
2 CORINTHIANS 5:16-18 (THE MESSAGE)



On The Journey With You,
Jan Dravecky

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Grace, The Treasure of Relationships, Words of Endurance

The Power of Forgiveness

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January 9, 2015

- Grace, The Treasure of Relationships, Words of Endurance

Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted,
forgiving one another,
just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
EPHESIANS 4:32 (NLT)



In the darkness of suffering, our flaws stand out like beacons in the night. Family and friends don’t meet the hurting person’s needs. They interfere when they shouldn’t. They say stupid things or they don’t say anything at all. They don’t understand the pain.



And the actions and attitudes of hurting people are no less flawed. “Hurting people aren’t always nice,” Joni EarecksonTada explains. “Suffering can really breed selfishness or insensitivity … sometimes down right rudeness.”



How is it possible to find treasure in such an environment? The key is in one word: forgiveness. Whenever we find ourselves in the darkness we must learn to live a lifestyle of forgiveness if we want our relationships to survive and grow.



Love prospers when a fault is forgiven,
but dwelling on it separates close friends.
PROVERBS 17:9 (NLT)



Unfortunately many of us don’t understand forgiveness. We may agree and know that forgiveness is a good and right thing to do but we find it difficult to implement in our own lives. True forgiveness is able to take place when we acknowledge that we will fail others and they will fail us. We all need forgiveness.



Learning to forgive requires divine assistance. We may know that we need to forgive but feel utterly unable to.  That is when we can confess our predicament to God and ask for His help. That’s what concentration camp survivor Corrie ten Boom did when after the war one of the “most cruel” guards asked her for forgiveness. Be encouraged as you read her words:



“I know that God has forgiven me for the cruel things I did there,
but I would like to hear it from you as well.
Fraulein,” he thrust his hand out to Corrie,
“will you forgive me?”



I stood there and could not forgive …
to me it seemed hours as I wrestled with
the most difficult thing I had ever had to do.
I had to do it – I knew that.
And still I stood there with the coldness clutching my heart.
Jesus, help me! I prayed silently.
I can lift my hand. You supply the feeling.
And so mechanically, I thrust my hand into the one stretched out to me.
And an incredible thing took place.
The current started in my shoulder, raced down my arm
and sprang into our joined hands.
And then this healing warmth seemed to flood my whole being,
bringing tears to my eyes.



“I forgive you brother!” I cried. “with all my heart.”
For a long moment we grasped each other’s hands,
the former guard and the former prisoner.
I had never known God’s love so intensely as I did then.



On the journey with you,
Dave and Jan Dravecky

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Grace, Guilt, Relationships, The Treasure of Relationships, Words of Endurance

Part II-Uncovering the Riches of Relationships

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January 9, 2015

- Grace, Guilt, Relationships, The Treasure of Relationships, Words of Endurance

The most perfect people in the world have imperfections, and so do we.
And sometimes it is quite difficult for us to tolerate each other.
We are to “bear one another’s burdens,
and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Galations 6:2),
and I think this means, among other things,
that we are to bear the burden of each other’s imperfections.
FENELON



One precious treasure I uncovered was learning not to expect perfection in relationships. No matter how much we long and strive for perfection – we will always fail. We all have strengths and gifts but we also all have weaknesses and warts.

For everyone has sinned;
we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.
ROMANS 3:23 (NLT)



So learning to accept people and ourselves – warts and all – is very important. I had been guilty of thinking that if anything went wrong in a relationship it was over. I learned that relationships are a continual work in progress. I learned how to work through the challenges in order to experience the richness of the relationships God had given me.



Another treasure was discovering the power of grace in relationships. Grace is being able to love others and ourselves despite their warts and ours. What could be more precious than the security of knowing that another person loves and accepts you even when he or she sees the ugly part of you! What could be more valuable than to give that love, acceptance and resulting security to another!



There is no doubt that adversity experienced in the valley of suffering tests every one of our relationships. But adversity also has a way of strengthening our relationships by eliminating the trivial, exposing what is false and focusing our attention on the true nature of our relationships. Some relationships will not endure the pressure of adversity but others – even relationships that have been miserable for years – will emerge strengthened and restored. What a priceless treasure!



Overlook an offense and bond a friendship;
fasten on to a slight and – good-bye, friend!
PROVERBS 17:9 (THE MESSAGE)



On the journey with you,
Jan Dravecky

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Cancer, Grace, Hope, Loss, Prayer, Treasures in the Darkness, Words of Endurance

My Most Unexpected Treasure

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October 22, 2014

- Cancer, Grace, Hope, Loss, Prayer, Treasures in the Darkness, Words of Endurance

Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do,
everywhere you go;
He’s the one who will keep you on track.
PROVERBS 3:5-6 (THE MESSAGE)



One cloudy gray day several months after my amputation, I was driving the car and my emotional state pretty much matched the weather. I was struggling to make sense out of all that had happened to me during the previous few years and I wasn’t coming up with any answers. I had achieved my dream of becoming a Major League Pitcher but a diagnosis of cancer in my pitching arm rocked my world. First there was the surgery that promised to end my career, then my amazing comeback – then just a few days later my arm broke mid pitch – then the reoccurrence of the cancer, more surgeries, radiation, infection and finally – no arm.



I knew I could trust God but I had begun taking a hard look at my life. I wondered where my life might be headed. No arm, no career – just where did God want me to go?



Through the gloom of that day a song came over the car radio and caught my ear:



“First I want to thank You Lord
for being who You are.
For coming to the rescue of a man who’s drifted far.
For calling me to be Your son
and calling me to serve,
Lord the way You’ve blessed my life
is more than I deserve.”



Somehow that song touched my heart right where I was at that point in time. As it continued I broke down and cried.



“Let me be the evidence of what Your Grace can do,
to generations struggling to find themselves in You.
May they come to know the love of God.
May their eyes be made to see.
Give me the opportunity to
share the truth that sets them free!”
That was it! That song spoke into my life and directed it to where it needed to go. It perfectly expressed the vision in my heart – a vision I had not yet been able to see.



I never expected to cry from a song but I prayerfully and tearfully joined in the chorus:



“This is my prayer,
lifted to you,
Knowing you care
even more than I do.
This is my prayer lifted in Your name.
Your will be done
I humbly pray.”



I haven’t heard that song for years but the memory of it takes me back to that grey rainy day when God broke through my fog and gloom and reminded me of my heart’s deepest desire – for my life to reflect Jesus where ever He will lead me. What a treasure!



When you hurt,
I mean really hurt,
Where are the blessings?
What good can actually come of it?
Suffering can not only draw you closer to God,
But He can use it to reveal blessings
that will give you hope to hang onto.
JONI EARECKSON TADA



On the journey with you,
Dave Dravecky



(The song “Prayer” was sung by Petra and written by Bob Hartman, John Elefante)

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Cancer, Doubt, Fear, Grace, Guilt, Words of Endurance

Fuel for Enduring

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September 2, 2014

- Cancer, Doubt, Fear, Grace, Guilt, Words of Endurance

This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses,
for he faced all of the same testings we do,
yet he did not sin.
So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God.
There we will receive his mercy,
and we will find grace
HEBREWS 4:15-16 (NLT)



I have always had high expectations of myself – never wanting to fail – always wanting to be strong – never weak – earning my success – in the game of baseball and in my everyday life.



All that changed when cancer entered my life. Oh I was strong and performed well at the beginning of my journey of suffering. But as the journey took me into the wilderness and the days became long and endless, I experienced a weakness of my being that I had never felt before.



I had a fear of death – I doubted – then shame for my lack of faith. I experienced frustration over my weakness and my failure to overcome. This resulted in anger – rage filled fits – then extreme guilt over my sin. Like Adam in the Garden of Eden, my inclination was to run from God and hide. BUT … running and hiding from God was not the answer. In order to endure I needed to run to Him and receive His grace even though I felt I had not earned it and therefore I did not deserve it.



But God loves who we really are – whether we like it or not.
God calls us, as He did Adam, to come out of hiding.
“Come to me now,” Jesus says.
“Acknowledge and accept who I want to be for you:
a Savior of boundless compassion,
infinite patience, unbearable forgiveness,
and love that keeps no score of wrongs.
Quit projecting onto me your own feelings about yourself.
At this moment your life is a bruised reed and I will not crush it,
a smoldering wick and I will not quench it.
You are in a safe place.
BRENNAN MANNING (ABBA’S CHILD)



God’s grace is an incredible source of fuel for enduring the journey. It encourages us to keep going even when we fall because we know He understands and knows our weaknesses yet He still loves us. This was a huge source of fuel for me to continue taking steps forward on my journey with Him knowing that …

“If we have only the will to walk, then God is pleased with my stumbles.” CS LEWIS



Sometimes we are so sick and tired of stumbling that we don’t want to walk anymore. What a blessing it is to know that all we need to have is the will to walk with Him, and God is pleased with us – even when we stumble. That’s an incredible expression of grace. That is a tremendous motivation to keep stepping forward and endure the journey!



On the journey with you,
Dave Dravecky

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"The journey of our suffering was not hopeless. Through it we discovered the power of endurance - not in our own ability, but in the comfort, encouragement, and hope that God provides"

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