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Discovering Who I Am, Healing, Hope, Words of Endurance

A Saint Who Sins

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December 18, 2012

- Discovering Who I Am, Healing, Hope, Words of Endurance

Now we look inside, and
what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah
gets a fresh start, is created new.
The old life is gone; a new life burgeons!
Look at it!
All this comes from the God
who settled the relationship between us and him,
God put the world square with himself
through the Messiah,
giving the world a fresh start
by offering forgiveness of sins.
2 CORINTHIANS 5:17,19 (THE MESSAGE)



After I committed my life to Christ I always looked at myself as a “sinner who was saved” because I knew that I still struggled with sin. What I did not realize was that when I accepted Christ as my Lord I became a new creation as the Scripture above proclaims. Not because of anything that I did or would do but because of what Jesus did for me on the cross.



I am ashamed to admit that I became aware of this awesome Truth only recently on my journey with Christ. But let me assure you that it is never too late to learn the original Good News! I was stoked to learn that when I became a Christ follower I became a saint – totally righteous before God – even though I did not feel or always act like a saint! I was stoked even more when I read the following in the book, The Cure:



Nature provides many examples of this incredible discrepancy between who we appear to be and who we are. Consider the caterpillar. If we brought a caterpillar to a biologist and asked him to analyze it and describe its DNA, he would tell us, “I know this looks like a caterpillar to you. But scientifically, according to every test, including DNA, this is fully a butterfly.”



Wow! God has wired into a creature looking nothing like a butterfly a perfectly complete butterfly identity. And because the caterpillar is a butterfly in essence, it will one day display the behavior and attributes of a butterfly. The butterfly matures into what is already true about it.



So it is with us. God has given us the DNA of Righteousness. We are saints. Nothing we do will make us more righteous than we already are. Nothing we do will alter this reality. God knows that we are “Christ in me.” And now He is asking us to join Him in what He knows is true! THE CURE (JOHN LYNCH, BRUCE MCNICOL, BILL THRALL)



This was revolutionary and freeing for me because I now know that my DNA is the DNA of a Saint – a saint who sins but is forgiven and righteous before God. And if you are a child of God you are too!!! Together we can rejoice in the following Truth …



It wasn’t so long ago that we ourselves
were stupid and stubborn,
dupes of sin, ordered every which way by our glands,
going around with a chip on our shoulder,
hated and hating back.
But when God, our kind and loving Savior God,
stepped in, he saved us from all that.
It was all his doing; we had nothing to do with it.
He gave us a good bath, and we came out of it new people,
washed inside and out by the Holy Spirit.
Our Savior Jesus poured out new life so generously.
God’s gift has restored our relationship with him and given us back our lives.
And there’s more life to come—an eternity of life!
You can count on this.
TITUS 3:3-8 (THE MESSAGE)



On the journey with you,
Dave Dravecky

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Discovering Who I Am, Grief, Guilt, Healing, Words of Endurance

One Comeback After Another

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November 13, 2012

- Discovering Who I Am, Grief, Guilt, Healing, Words of Endurance

Have mercy on me, O God,
because of your unfailing love.
Because of your great compassion,
blot out the stain of my sins.
PSALM 51:1 (NLT)



Who am I? I have problems like everyone else and I don’t always deal with them well. I am a guy who struggles every day. I struggle with being down, with being a husband, father and now grandfather, with communicating and with how to lead a ministry. Every time I turn the corner I find another problem in front of me that I don’t know how to deal with. I look at my life and I say to myself “Is this the way it is going to be day after day after day?” And the answer is probably.



Yet I am learning that I can endure this journey and the ongoing struggles best when I accept that I am a man who has faults and sins – who needs the Grace of God – a man who is still in the process of learning and maturing – still growing up! Life is easier for me when I realize it calls for one comeback after another – a comeback to God.



The Bible tells a story about a guy who was a jock, a national hero and also a sinner. In a strange sort of way – that comforts me. He was a guy who had to depend on the Grace of God – just like me. This man, King David, fought bears and lions – and won. He won the greatest slingshot competition of all time where the prize was more than just the pennant. The fate of his entire country depended on how well he would pitch a little stone toward the massive forehead of a giant named Goliath. When he beaned that Giant (who was fortunately from Philistia, not San Francisco), he became an instant hero. The whole country was cheering him, honoring him, loving him.



But David was far from a perfect guy. I am so thankful that the Bible brings balance to King David’s victories by also sharing his failures. (It is just nice to know that David was human too and I am not alone in my own victories and failures) He had it all – he became King – he was famous – he was affluent – he was a skilled and successful warrior. He even had a great relationship with God – leading the entire nation in worship through his songs. But …



One day he caught a glimpse of his neighbor’s wife as she was stepping in and out of the tub. He liked what he saw and had an affair with her. When he found out she was pregnant he had her husband killed to try to keep his image intact. David kept up the pretense until he was confronted with what he had done. When he finally realized his sin – he admitted his failures, came clean and repented. He came back to God.



Wash me clean from my guilt.
Purify me from my sin.
For I recognize my rebellion;
it haunts me day and night.
Against you, and you alone, have I sinned;
I have done what is evil in your sight.
PSALM 51:2-4 (NLT)



Whoever I am – I don’t want to live in deceit. I want to be real even if it tarnishes my image. I want to be real even though it means I have to admit some ugly things about myself. Whoever I am I will always be a guy who needs the Grace of God. When I realize God’s grace in my life and who I am in relationship to Him that gives me the desire to live for Him every day but also honest before Him about my faults and sins.



In each devotional I have shared with you some things that may have surprised you – they don’t match my public image. I hope you don’t hold it against me. I do not do it for shock value but in hopes that you will be encouraged to see the Grace of God at work in the life of a man just like you. I hope it encourages you to come clean with God – repent of your sins and receive His Grace that erases all our faults and failures. And most of all I hope it motivates you to keep on coming back even when you fail because life really is just one comeback after another.



Because of God’s Grace, together with King David, we can all cry out …



Create in me a clean heart, O God.
Renew a loyal spirit within me.
Do not banish me from your presence,
and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and make me willing to obey you.
PSALM 51:10-12 (NLT)



On the journey with you,
Dave Dravecky

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Discovering Who I Am, Healing, Words of Endurance

Not By My Own Sense of Worth

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November 6, 2012

- Discovering Who I Am, Healing, Words of Endurance

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny?
Yet not one of them will fall to the ground
outside your Father’s care.
And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
So don’t be afraid;
you are worth more than many sparrows.
MATTHEW 10:29-31 (NIV)



I have learned that it is incredibly easy for us to confuse our True Worth with our own sense of that worth. The Bible teaches us that our True Worth never changes since it is based on God and not on us – yet our own sense or feeling of that worth can vary tremendously due to our life circumstances. Thank God that our True Worth is not based upon our constantly changing feelings!!!!



Often we do not feel that we are worth anything close to the worth that the Bible tells us that we have – especially when we lose a job or a close relationship. Both scenarios can cause a lot of emotional pain and also may prompt us to live on a level far below what God intends for us.



It would be wonderful if our feelings always aligned with the Truth but we all know that is not the way it always is. So what should we do? Try to ignore these feelings? That doesn’t work either. I don’t think we should ignore our feelings but identify them – validate those feeling and then align them with the Truth. Our feelings should not be disregarded – we were made to have emotions in the same way that God has emotions – but neither should we allow our fallen emotions to lead us in directions contrary to the Truth.



Then Jesus turned to the Jews who had claimed
to believe in him.
“If you stick with this, living out what I tell you,
you are my disciples for sure.
Then you will experience for yourselves the truth,
and the truth will free you.”
JOHN 8:31-32 (THE MESSAGE)



On the journey with you,
Dave Dravecky

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Anger, Discovering Who I Am, Grace, Guilt, Healing, Hope, Words of Endurance

Humbling Myself and Receiving the Father’s Love

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October 16, 2012

- Anger, Discovering Who I Am, Grace, Guilt, Healing, Hope, Words of Endurance

Humble yourselves before the Lord,
and he will lift you up in honor.
JAMES 4:10



Men do not like to receive. We like to be the giver. We like to earn everything that we receive. Unfortunately – with that stance of pride – that attitude can get in the way of receiving the Father’s love.



Jesus tried to give a true picture of our heavenly Father’s love by telling a story of a father and his two sons (see Luke 14:11-32). Both of the sons – even though so different – had to learn the same lesson – how to humble themselves and receive their father’s freely offered love.



The younger son in Jesus’ story was rebellious. He lived in the lap of luxury growing up. When he came of age he took his inheritance and hit the road. He spent everything his father had given him on the very things that broke his father’s heart.



When he was out of money and his “friends” had abandoned him – he found himself living in a pigsty. When he finally admitted his pitiful situation he decided to humbly go home. He hoped he could come crawling back to his dad and at least get decent meals working as his servant. He rehearsed his speech all the way home – ashamed about his behavior and no doubt nervous about how his father would receive him.



When he was still a long way off his father ran to him and embraced him – an action I am sure surprised Jesus’ listeners. The father hugged his son and kissed him and wouldn’t even let him finish his prepared speech. Instead, he told his servants to prepare for a celebration! He put a robe on his son’s shoulders – placed the family signet ring on his hand and fully reinstated him to his place in the home. All the young man had to do was receive the love that his father so freely offered.



The older brother had a different problem – he was performance-oriented. He had spent his whole life trying to earn his father’s love. That is why he grew baffled, jealous and angry at his father’s surprising response to his younger brother.



“But Dad,” he objected, “I stayed here – worked the land and brought in the crops. I have served you and performed for you my whole life – but you never gave me a party like this!”



His father tried to explain that all either of his sons had to do was receive what had always been there for them. The older son missed the father’s love because he was too busy ticking off on his checklist the things he thought he had to do to earn it. When he saw his father freely giving his love to his rebellious brother he became confused.



We can be like either of these sons. We may stay away from the heavenly Father because we are ashamed of how we have disappointed him. We may feel that we have broken every commandment God ever etched in stone. Or we may keep our distance – missing it completely – because we are too busy “doing” – trying to earn His love. Both of the brothers in Jesus’ story had to humble themselves if there were to receive the father’s love … and so must we.



God wants all men – those who perform well – those who may not – to know that His love is a gift – it is free.



God saved you by his grace when you believed.
And you can’t take credit for this;
it is a gift from God.
Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done,
so none of us can boast about it.
EPHESIANS 2:8-9 (NLT)



There is nothing we can do to earn it and there is nothing we can do that will disappoint our Father in heaven so much that He will withhold it. God’s love is there for the taking to all who will receive it. But it must be as freely received as it so freely offered. That is the only way. And I am so glad it is! Remember …



… indeed, nothing in all creation
will ever be able to separate us from the love of God
that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.
ROMANS 8:39 (NLT)



On the journey with you,
Dave Dravecky

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Depression, Discovering Who I Am, Doubt, Guilt, Healing, Hope, Loss, Pain, Words of Endurance

Me? Depressed?

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October 7, 2012

- Depression, Discovering Who I Am, Doubt, Guilt, Healing, Hope, Loss, Pain, Words of Endurance

Lord, have mercy, because I am in misery.
My eyes are weak from so much crying,
and my whole being is tired from grief.
PSALM 31:9 (NCV) WORDS OF KING DAVID



It took an act of God to convince me that I was depressed. Me? Dave Dravecky depressed? You have got to be kidding me! I was always taught that it was impossible for a Christian to be depressed if he or she were walking with the Lord. I bought into that teaching and denied all my symptoms (as well as Jan’s) of depression. At that time, admitting that I was depressed and seeking professional help would have been like confessing sin.



I really believed that if I kept a positive attitude and kept trying to help others I could and should get around my own emotional pain without going through it. As an athlete, I had learned how to push past the pain. If I stopped pushing myself whenever I felt physical pain I never would have made it to the big leagues. So naturally I applied the same jock mentality to emotional pain but it didn’t work.



It didn’t work because I was going the wrong way and it nearly killed me. It was true …



There is a way that appears to be right,
but in the end it leads to death.
PROVERBS 14:12 (NIV)



My way of dealing with my pain pushed me into unhealthy habits that inevitably lead to depression. And what finally triggered the depression? I can tell you in one word: exhaustion – I was physically and emotionally exhausted.



Immediately after my amputation I pushed myself into a busy speaking schedule – I said yes to almost every request made of me. I had been given a message from God for people who were suffering and I was determined to deliver it. As a result, I ended up exhausted.



And to make matters worse I kept busy to avoid dealing with my emotional pain and loss. My pain was still within me – waiting to be addressed – draining me just as much as my hectic schedule. To this day I can’t clearly remember those months – it’s a blur – as though I were living in a fog. I was living in the fog of depression.



The hectic schedule wasn’t the only thing that exhausted me, however. Trying to do things with my remaining hand – the nondominant one at that – made me mentally tired. I had always worked well with my hands and now I was fumbling all over the place – that exhausted me.



And pain itself is exhausting. Having to mentally deal with pain – day in and day out – sapped my energy. I experienced phantom pain daily and the pain could be unbelievable. My left hand would cramp up. Just to release the cramp I would mentally have to pry loose my missing fingers. Sometimes the ends of my finger felt like they were on fire.



And then there was the contribution of my fears, doubts, worry and then guilt. When these emotions engulfed me it was like a tidal wave had hit me and that wave did me in. No wonder I was experiencing depression!



But then I finally listened to the Godly, Biblical counsel of others.



Fools think their own way is right,
but the wise listen to others.
PROVERBS 12:15 (NLT)



After about three weeks of counseling I realized that I was just as depressed as Jan was. But what a wonderful place to make such discovery – under the care and guidance of a Godly counselor – an act of God! Bit by bit I began to understand how my way of dealing with my pain was not God’s way. I learned God’s Way – God’s Truth. I needed to open my heart and address and confess my pain. What came out was, “I’m scared. I’m afraid. I don’t want to die. Where is my faith that I have so strongly professed? I am so weak and tired.”



You know there was great freedom in admitting that truth. The truth of God’s Word set me free but so did the truth about myself that only the Holy Spirit could expose. There was wonderful freedom for me in knowing I don’t have to be anything but who I truly am – the good, the bad and the ugly – even me depressed!



If you find yourself in the same place I was – exhausted and depressed – please do not hesitate to seek help from our Heavenly Father, the Holy Spirit and the help from Godly others.



“And I will ask the Father,
and he will give you another Advocate,
who will never leave you.
He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth.”
JOHN 14:15-17 (NLT)



On the journey with you,
Dave Dravecky

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Counsel, Depression, Discovering Who I Am, Grief, Healing, Pain, Words of Endurance

Accepting Wise Counsel

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September 25, 2012

- Counsel, Depression, Discovering Who I Am, Grief, Healing, Pain, Words of Endurance

The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters,
but one who has insight draws them out.
PROVERBS 20:5 (NIV)



I admit it – I did not want to go to counseling – I did not want to share my feelings or my weaknesses with anyone. To me that appeared to be an even greater weakness – needing someone else to fix me. I was convinced that God and I together could fix myself.



After much begging I reluctantly agreed to go to counseling – not because I needed it but because Jan was depressed and SHE needed the counsel. I agreed to go to be her support.



I went in with a lot of apprehension. When we got in there, at first all I did was listen. Jan was hurting so much that she ended up dominating most of the sessions. I told myself I was there for my wife. But as I saw it work for her I became more open to the positive effect counseling could have on me. Before I knew it – within three weeks – I was the one on the couch!



Up to that point in life I had been unable to identify or articulate what I was feeling – I was totally out of touch with my feelings. A lot of it had to do with my fear – as a male – as a jock – of showing weakness. But through the insight of our Christian counselor – he helped me unravel the things that were holding me back from being vulnerable and transparent. He helped me peel back the layers and begin exposing what was going on in the deep waters of my heart. He gave me permission to grieve my losses. I was shocked – bringing my pain and weaknesses into the light actually brought healing.



Counseling also taught me to be a better communicator. By learning how to listen and communicate I was then able to identify and verbalize how I was feeling deep down inside. I learned to process with my wife what was going on inside – my feelings and my thoughts. That enabled us to become more supportive of each other. Not only was learning to communicate my feelings a huge blessing and further step to my maturity individually but the double blessing was that our marriage and love for one another grew stronger.



While it was very hard at first to admit that I needed the help I am now so thankful for the guidance I received from our counselor who was guided himself by the Holy Spirit and the Word of God. The whole inner process took months but was so worth it because I could have never done it on my own.



It is difficult – if not impossible –
to turn on the light of objectivity by ourselves.
We need guidance from the Holy Spirit
and usually the honesty, love and encouragement
of one other person who is willing to help us.
ROBERT MCGEE THE SEARCH FOR SIGNIFICANCE



Thank God that the process while difficult is not one we face alone. We are God’s children so be assured that He will gently and lovingly guide us each step of the way.



You guide me with your counsel,
leading me to a glorious destiny.
PSALM 73:24 (NLT)



On the journey with you,
Dave Dravecky

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Discovering Who I Am, Healing, Relationships, Words of Endurance

Accepting Help

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September 18, 2012

- Discovering Who I Am, Healing, Relationships, Words of Endurance

Now that we know what we have—Jesus,
this great High Priest with ready access to God—
let’s not let it slip through our fingers.
We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality.
He’s been through weakness and testing,
experienced it all—all but the sin.
So let’s walk right up to him
and get what he is so ready to give.
Take the mercy, accept the help.
HEBREWS 4:16 (THE MESSAGE)



In admitting my weakness, I finally found strength but that strength did not come from within me. I discovered that the often-quoted adage, “God helps those who help themselves,” is not in the Bible nor is it a true fact of life. I needed help and I needed the help from Jesus and others – it was through them that I found my strength.



A woman once told me a joke: How do we know that Moses was a man? Because he wandered forty years in the wilderness and never once stopped to ask for directions. She thought it was funnier than I did. She was laughing at the fact that many men seem willing to go to almost any length to avoid having to ask for help. I don’t know if it’s a part of our culture or a part of our nature but I know from personal experience that asking for help is about the last thing I wanted to do.



As an amputee I needed help more often than a guy with a full set of limbs. There were a lot of little things I could no longer do for myself. Even though I accepted the fact that I now faced challenges that call for help it was not easy for me to admit. My shoulder, arm, and hand may have been gone but in my mind, I was still a jock – a self-sufficient, self-made guy. Prideful, I wanted to believe that I could make it on my own.



One of my greatest challenges in my maturing process was admitting that I needed help and that I will continue to need help. It was humbling. I needed help in most ways – from the smallest thing like asking someone to tie my shoes or letting someone cut my meat – to the emotional adjustments, Jan and I made with the help of a counselor. When I finally came to grips with the fact that I needed to ask others for help – I passed a marker on the road to maturity.



It was hard for me to even ask Jan for help but when I finally did accept her help I was extremely grateful for what Jan did for me. She was my advocate – the one who took the time and made the effort to find out what help I needed. She was my encourager – the one who came alongside me and helped me keep move forward. When I began to feel a bit better about what I was up against I was able to take bigger steps on my own but until I got to that place I needed a lot of help and encouragement. It was so true that …



It’s better to have a partner than go it alone.
… if one falls down, the other helps,
ECCLESIASTES 4:9-10 (THE MESSAGE)



Don’t be afraid to ask and accept help from others and don’t be afraid to ask and accept help from God. Don’t let your pride get in the way of you receiving the help you need because when you humble yourself before others and before God you will be lifted up – God has promised!



So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God,
and at the right time, he will lift you up in honor.
1 PETER 5:6 (NLT)



On the journey with you,
Dave Dravecky

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Discovering Who I Am, Grief, Healing, Hope, Loss, Trust, Words of Endurance

Admitting My Weakness

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September 11, 2012

- Discovering Who I Am, Grief, Healing, Hope, Loss, Trust, Words of Endurance

So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses,
so that the power of Christ can work through me.
That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses,
and in the insults, hardships,
persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ.
For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 CORINTHIANS 12:9-10 (NLT)



I had always been capable of taking care of myself. If there was something I wanted – I went and did it. I felt I didn’t need nor did I ask for anyone else’s help. After my amputation, I continued to live my life in that self-sufficient mode. I immediately thrust myself into helping others when I was the one who needed the help. Fortunately, I was unable to sustain that mode for very long and I eventually burned myself out.



I do believe that God just allowed me to wear myself out at my own game. Eventually, I cried out, “I can’t do it anymore, I can’t!” I had no strength left. I reached the point where I didn’t give a rip; I didn’t care what happened.



But when I was totally at the end of myself – when I had nothing left to give – that’s when it got exciting because that’s when I saw the hand of God come in to provide the help I needed. You could almost hear him say: “Now you have got it. It’s never been you. I just let you run out of steam. Now watch me put your life back together!”



When I was humbled and admitted my weakness that was when I finally began to understand my true need for God. And for the first time in my life, I realized that I had always placed my security in myself rather than God.



Sound familiar? For most of us men, it is easy to think that everything depends on us. We work hard and we are rewarded for it. We get a paycheck that is able to provide us with a home, clothing on our backs, food on the table and necessities for the family. It is easy to feel that we are in control – that our security is in ourselves.



But when that gets pulled out from underneath us we begin to wonder where our security really comes from. And that is where God steps in.



When we are brought to the end of ourselves and admit our weakness – there is release. When we finally realize how weak we truly are and that the power and the responsibility lays in God, not us – when we confess that the battle is the Lord’s, not ours – that releases us, frees us and strengthens us. As Francois Fenelon so rightly says …



“But you need to understand that you cannot become strong
until first you are aware of your weakness.
It is amazing how strong we can become
when we begin to understand what weaklings we are!
It is in weakness that we can admit our mistakes
and correct ourselves while confessing them.
It is in weakness that our minds are open
to enlightenment from others.”



I think if I had not been brought to the point of total weakness I would never have known how much I could trust God and how faithful He is. In admitting my weakness I finally found strength. What joy there was in that discovery!



The Lord is my strength and shield.
I trust him with all my heart.
He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy.
I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.
PSALM 28:7



On the journey with you,
Dave Dravecky

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Discovering Who I Am, Doubt, Healing, Hope, Words of Endurance

Move On as a Child of God

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September 4, 2012

- Discovering Who I Am, Doubt, Healing, Hope, Words of Endurance

What marvelous love the Father has extended to us!
Just look at it—we’re called children of God!
That’s who we really are.
1 JOHN 3:1 (THE MESSAGE)



On my journey of discovering who I am, I have come to one profound and simple realization: I am a child of God! But what exactly does that mean as we stumble through life with the afflictions, failures, and losses that we all experience?



I think about when my own kids were little – when they were just starting to walk. They would get up, stumble and fall and I would help them back up. I delighted in watching them learn to walk.



Now they are grown – they can walk just fine but they still make mistakes – they still stumble and they sometimes fail. Yet I still love them. I want the best for my children and I will do whatever I can to help them find their way. When they falter I pick them up and put them back on the right path.



That is precisely how God sees me – sees you! We are his little children. He directs our steps and picks us up when we stumble yet He still delights in us.



The Lord directs the steps of the godly.
He delights in every detail of their lives.
Though they stumble, they will never fall,
for the Lord holds them by the hand.
PSALM 37:23-24



Along my life journey I had stumbled plenty and every time I failed I was ashamed. I had a hard time believing that God would be delighted in my stumbles. But then I was encouraged greatly to read this quote by CS Lewis:

If we only have the will to walk,
God is pleased with our stumbles.

I knew I had the will to walk – God knew I had the will to walk. God knew I wanted to trust Him and so I kept taking the next step – trusting that He is holding me by my hand. And now if I stumble I get back up and move on as a child of God – God’s chosen!



So, what do you think?
With God on our side like this, how can we lose?
If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us,
embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst
by sending his own Son,
is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God
by messing with one of God’s chosen?
Who would dare even to point a finger?
The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!
—is in the presence of God at this very moment
sticking up for us.
Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge
between us and Christ’s love for us?
There is no way!
Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger,
not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing,
not even the worst sins listed in Scripture …
None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us.
I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—
nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic,
today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable
—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love
because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.
ROMANS 8:31-39 (THE MESSAGE)



On the journey with you,
Dave Dravecky

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Discovering Who I Am, Healing, Loss, Pain, Trust, Words of Endurance

Step One-Facing Past Pain & Loss

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August 21, 2012

- Discovering Who I Am, Healing, Loss, Pain, Trust, Words of Endurance

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
… a time to mourn …
ECCLESIASTES 3:1,4



When I look back on my life – discovering who I am has been an ever-evolving journey for me. I believe that I am not alone – in fact, I know that while we may be on different paths and experience different life changing events – many of us find ourselves on the same quest.



It is my desire over the next several weeks for me to share this journey of mine. I have evolved from a son and a brother to a husband and father. And I have been a student and an athlete – first an amateur and then a professional. I have loved, accepted and transitioned with every new identity. (Well maybe not the student identity so much!) But my first major identity crisis – asking God who am I now – came when I lost my arm to cancer.



Battling cancer is hard enough but for many survivors – and I am one – cancer leaves us with an even tougher battle to fight. That battle has to do with our identity. When the storm of cancer sweeps into our lives the landscape can change dramatically. Everything familiar may be wiped away or changed beyond recognition. We may have lost the relationships, skills, and resources that have been an essential part of who we are and have given us a sense of joy and purpose in living. So some of us journey out of cancer as very different people.



When I lost my arm – I lost my career, my position and my sense of identity. All I had ever done career wise was play baseball. Who was I if I was not a pro baseball player? It was a long, painful and difficult journey to identify the real Dave Dravecky.



But for me the journey did not begin right away. Part of the reason was because I did not take the time to mourn the loss of my arm – that would have been the emotionally healthy step to take. But oh no – not me! Instead, I had a cavalier attitude about it. Before the amputation, I jokingly waved my left arm in the air – pretending that it was saying goodbye. After the amputation, I thrust myself into travel and speaking to prove that I could overcome this loss.



The truth was I did not want to face the pain and the reality of the loss and the fact that I was a changed person. The questions of who I was and where do I go from here – could not be held at bay any longer. Jan continued to say to me …



The only way to heal from the pain of losses suffered
is to go through the pain.
There is no way around it.
You can stuff it – you can dodge it.
But eventually, you will have to face it.



When I started to take the first step by asking those questions instead of ignoring them, I was surprised to discover that so much of my identity was wrapped up in that arm and what it was capable of doing. My arm had brought me joy, worth, status and had provided a wonderful lifestyle. I had lost all of these when I lost my arm. Until I came face to face with the personal losses that came with the physical loss of my arm – I was awash in a storm of denial and depression.



If I have learned anything through the loss of my arm it is that ignoring the loss and not taking the time to mourn that loss was a huge boulder on my path to discovering who I truly was. So step one for me was to remove that boulder by honestly facing my pain and loss and then moving on with God.



Oswald Chambers wrote in My Utmost for His Highest …



“Beware of harking back to what you once were when God wants you to be something you’ve never been.”



If we allow God to work through our losses He will always teach us something that will bring us closer to Him and make us more like Him. And that is anything but loss. It is incredible how much we gain through our losses.



On the journey with you,
Dave Dravecky

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"The journey of our suffering was not hopeless. Through it we discovered the power of endurance - not in our own ability, but in the comfort, encouragement, and hope that God provides"

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