Depression, Endurance for the Journey, Featured

Spiritual Support

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other
so that you may be healed.
The earnest prayer of a righteous person
has great power and produces wonderful results.
JAMES 5:16 (NLT)



Prayer is a powerful weapon in the battle of depression. One of the most troubling symptoms of depression is the lack of emotions and feelings. That numbness often occurs in your friends relationship with God – your friend can sometimes feel that there is a cement ceiling between them and God. Knowing that someone else is standing in the gap for them in prayer can be especially encouraging.

* Follow up on your prayers, “I’ve been praying specifically about (fill in the blank). How is that going?

* Read to them the Scriptures pertaining to King David’s struggle and deliverance from depression and the prophet Elijah’s struggles with depression after a great spiritual victory. (King David – Psalms 6, 31, 32:6-7, 38, 40:1-5, 42, 51:17, 103) (Elijah – 1 Kings 19:1-18)

* Encourage your friend by letting them know that God’s Presence isn’t dependent upon their feelings. God will never abandon or forsake them. (Deuteronomy 31:6, Joshua 1:9, Psalm 9:9-10, Psalm 40:1-3)

* Offer to pray with your friend, especially when he or she hits a recovery road block or needs an injection of hope and encouragement. Always guiding your friend to the Ultimate Source of True Hope and Healing – Jesus.

Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion.
Stay alert and persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.
EPHESIANS 6:18 (NLT)



On the journey with you,
Jan Dravecky

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Depression, Endurance for the Journey, Featured

EMOTIONAL SUPPORT

So speak encouraging words to one another.
Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this,
no one left out, no one left behind.
1 THESSALONIANS 5:11 (THE MESSAGE)



You can also offer your friend much needed emotional support.
Here are some suggestions:

Learn about depression so you are better able to understand what your friend is experiencing, why he or she may be reacting in certain ways and what to expect while your friend is in treatment.

It’s okay to ask someone who is battling depression how they are feeling. However, if you ask, stick around to really listen. Your friend needs to know that you aren’t just asking out of courtesy but that you really care about how he or she is doing. Don’t dismiss negative and disparaging remarks. Your friend is being honest. It’s okay, however, to gently respond with truth-based and hopeful comments. However, if your friend or loved one makes comments that are self-destructive, seek immediate help. Depression can be life threatening.

Initiate activities with your friend that he or she likes, especially if those activities involve physical exercise such as golfing, swimming, hiking, etc.

Don’t be forceful with your friend about participating in social events and activities. Encourage but don’t push. You may cause your friend to feel overwhelmed or guilty. One woman described her depression as the equivalent of driving a car down the freeway in first gear. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t use a higher gear. Don’t expect your friend to drive faster than he or she is capable.

Offer encouragement and praise when your friend takes positive steps towards recovery such as joining a support group, exercise or art class.



On the journey with you,
Jan & Dave Dravecky

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Depression, Endurance for the Journey, Featured

Practical Support

Share each other’s burdens …
GALATIONS 6:2 (NLT)

The most important practical thing you can do for a friend who may be depressed is to help him or her get both a medical and a counseling evaluation to create a treatment plan. The sooner treatment is started, the sooner the depression will be relieved. You can also help your friend in the recovery process. Here are some suggestions:

Encourage your friend to complete the entire course of treatment (counseling, medication, etc). Many people battling with depression want to quit treatment when their symptoms begin to improve. However, stopping treatment prematurely can result in a worsening of symptoms and a longer recovery.

If your friend’s symptoms aren’t improving after a few weeks, encourage him or her to consult their physician and/or counselor again as treatment plans often need to be adjusted, especially if the plan includes medication.

If your friend is struggling to keep treatment appointments, offer to accompany him or her.



On the journey with you,
Jan & Dave Dravecky

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Depression, Endurance for the Journey, Fear, Featured

Give ear to my words, O Lord,
consider my sighing.
Listen to my cry for help,
my King and my God,
for to you I pray.
PSALM 5:1-2 (NIV)



When we find ourselves in deep distress, our words often vanish like smoke. We find our desperate longings cannot be formed into sentences with subject, verb, object. We are like the mute – wordless, with nothing on our lips but sighs.


And yet the Lord hears us!


In Psalm 5 David asks not only that the Lord might hear his words, but that God would consider his “sighing” as well. What else can this mean but that David’s pain had grown too great for words? What words he had he offered in prayer; but this was not enough. David therefore asked the Lord that He might accept even his sighs!


What an amazing God we serve, who hears not only our spoken prayers, but also our speechless sighs. Even when we do not know what to pray for, God’s Word tells us that “the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express” (Romans 8:26). And so God meets sigh with sigh – and thus works for our benefit!



Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting,
God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along.
If we don’t know how or what to pray,
it doesn’t matter.
He does our praying in and for us,
making prayer out of our wordless sighs,
our aching groans.
He knows us far better than we know ourselves,
knows our pregnant condition,
and keeps us present before God.
That’s why we can be so sure,
that every detail in our lives of love for God
is worked into something good.
ROMANS 8:26-28 (THE MESSAGE)



On the journey with you,
Dave Dravecky

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Depression, Guilt, Hope, On the Journey Together, Words of Endurance

“I’m baptizing you here in the river
turning your old life in for a kingdom life.
The real action comes next:
The main character in this drama –
compared to him I’m a mere stagehand –
will ignite the kingdom life within you,
a fire within you, the Holy Spirit within you,
changing you from the inside out.
He’s going to clean house –
make a clean sweep of your lives.”
MATTHEW 3:11-12
(THE WORDS OF JOHN THE BAPTIST-THE MESSAGE)



It had become obvious to me that I was totally powerless to “change” from my old life after countless futile attempts – trying in my own strength. I felt hopeless. I was stuck in my own muck and mire. I felt much shame for not being able to “fix” myself.



I had recently been told that “The Cure” for my old life was to trust God and others with who I truly am. This was a scary step for me to take because I had worn so many masks to please others. How do I dare trust others with my true heart?



But I wanted so much for the Holy Spirit to make a “clean sweep” of my life. After years of my low-lying depression I could no longer feel the presence of God but I knew from my past depressions that God’s presence is not dependent upon my feelings. I would have to trust the God within me that I could not sense and the God within others to guide me out of my darkness by bringing the true me out into His light.



Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do everywhere you go;
He’s the one who will keep you on track.
PROVERBS 3:5-6 (THE MESSAGE)



On The Journey With You,
Jan Dravecky

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Depression, Grief, Healing, On the Journey Together, Prayer, Words of Endurance

Listen, God! Please pay attention!
Can you make sense of these ramblings,
my groans and cries?
King-God, I need your help.
PSALM 5:1-2 (THE MESSAGE)



I have struggled off and on with depression all of my adult life. For years now I have pleaded with God to remove this “thorn in my flesh.” But after years of counseling and many attempts to get off my antidepressant I had resigned myself to the fact that this was the way I was wired and it was a burden that I would forever bear till I meet Jesus on the other side.



I thought I could maintain status quo and get by but my issues have worsened over the years. I have always known that I was a flaming people-pleasing codependent but I did not realize how that had eroded me spiritually, physically and emotionally. It has reared its ugly head in my relationship with God and family – leaving me empty inside – not knowing who I truly was – causing me to turn to addiction to numb my pain – not God.



What I am so elated over is that God has not left me here in my state of despair. While I am still in the midst of my healing and discovery I now know that He who began a good work in me will see it to the day of completion. (Philippians 1:6) For the first time in a long time my hope has been restored.



He has heard my prayer and blessed me with a wonderful, understanding and patient husband, an insightful and wise counselor and wonderful supportive friends. Another layer of the onion is being peeled and hopefully the root of codependency is being pulled out – I am still in the process – the process is painful but it is worth it. I now pray …



Investigate my life, O God,
find out everything about me;
Cross-examine and test me,
get a clear picture of what I’m about;
See for yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong –
then guide me on the road to eternal life.
Psalm 139:23-24 (THE MESSAGE)



On The Journey With You,
Jan Dravecky

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Anger, Depression, Hope, Pain, Treasures in the Darkness, Words of Endurance

Treasure is not something
I expected to find
in the darkness.
All I wanted was to find a way out!
JAN DRAVECKY



When Dave and I first began to experience the injuries and illness that eventually led to the amputation of his left arm, I thought God would miraculously deliver us. I expected us to emerge in a few months as victorious examples of what God could do for those who followed Him. I never imagined our journey through that dark valley of suffering would last for years.



As the weeks stretched into months and then year, I became consumed by our suffering. I tried harder and harder to get back to our “normal” life but I was powerless to change our situation or to understand what God was doing. As I became weaker and more exhausted from trying to fix everything by my own efforts I became increasingly desperate for relief.



I certainly wasn’t looking for any treasures from God. Deep inside I was fighting God and felt completely shut off from Him. When people suggested that God might be doing something wonderful in our lives I got angry. I knew only that I was drowning and I wanted out!



But in spite of my bad attitude – in spite of me doing things my way – in spite of my overwhelming depression – God was still at work within me. There were indeed treasures in the darkness and He would be faithful to give them to me.



About one year after Dave’s comeback I was in the deepest throes of my depression from my perspective everything was very, very black. I couldn’t make myself do anything, go anywhere or see anyone. The three people I had depended upon most for support were Dave and my parents but Dave was undergoing radiation treatments and nothing left to give and both of my parents had died. Dave’s parents were doing all they could to help us but inside I was losing the battle. I felt totally helpless, hopeless and alone.



That is when I discovered the first unexpected treasure God had for me. And I wasn’t even looking for it! In fact, I was ready to give up everything walk away from God. But when I tried to walk away, I couldn’t. Almost to my surprise I realized there was nowhere else I wanted to go. I was just like Peter who when Jesus asked His twelve disciples if they would desert Him and …



Peter replied, “Master, to whom would we go?
You have the words of real life, eternal life.
We’ve already committed ourselves,
Confident that you are the Holy One of God.”
JOHN 6:68-69 (THE MESSAGE)



When I realized that I truly believed those words I was thrilled! My faith was real! What a treasure!. Even when I was at the end of my rope and ready to run away I couldn’t do it Because I truly believe that God is the Only Way to eternal life and there is no hope apart from Him. Learning that my faith was real brought me great joy and gave me hope when nothing else could. That treasure was the turning point in my experience of suffering.



Although I had not realized it suffering had tested, refined and strengthened my faith. I discovered as 1 Peter 1:3-7 says that faith is far more valuable gold. That discovery renewed my hope and inspired me to search the Scriptures to learn His promises. The hope those Truths of Scripture brought to me became my greatest treasure in the darkness – my lifeline – in the midst of pain. I was still in the valley of suffering but I had learned there were rich treasures there also.



What a God we have!
And how fortunate we are to have him,
This Father of our Master Jesus!
Because Jesus was raised from the dead,
We’ve been given a brand-new life
and have everything to live for,
including a future in heaven –
and the future starts now!
God is keeping careful watch over us and the future.
The Day is coming when you’ll have it all –
life healed and whole.
I know how great this makes you feel,
even though you have to put up with
every kind of aggravation in the meantime.
Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure;
genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine.
When Jesus wraps this all up,
it’s your faith, not your gold,
that God will have on display as evidence of his victory.
1 PETER 1:3-7 (THE MESSAGE)



ON THE JOURNEY WITH YOU,
JAN DRAVECKY

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Depression, Prayer, The Search for Answers, Words of Endurance

God, are you avoiding me?
Where are you when I need you?
PSALM 10:1 (THE MESSAGE)



Why is it when we are on the mountaintop we can feel God’s presence but when we are experiencing adversity – the wilderness which seems like a hot desert – a time when we need Him most – He seems to be avoiding us totally. He seems to be nowhere to be found.



On the day of Dave’s comeback game and even in the following game when he broke his arm throwing his career ending pitch, we both felt God’s presence so strongly. We were on the mountaintop and we wanted to bask in His presence forever.



But one year later – after two more surgeries, two separate rounds of radiation, a staph infection and depression – we found ourselves in the wilderness with no way out and God was nowhere to be found. But we learned …



“Looking back, we have learned that the
wilderness is part of the landscape of faith,
and every bit as essential as the mountaintop.
On the mountaintop we are overwhelmed by
God’s presence. In the wilderness we overwhelmed
by His absence. Both places should bring us to
our knees; the one, in utter awe; the other,
in utter dependence.”
(WHEN YOU CAN’T COMEBACK BY DAVE & JAN DRAVECKY)



If you are experiencing adversity – wandering in a wilderness which seems like a hot desert – drop to your knees in utter dependence. The Scripture assures us that God is with us …



But now, God’s Message,
the God who made you in the first place, Jacob,
the One who got you started, Israel:
“Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you.
I’ve called your name. You’re mine.
When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you.
When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you’re between a rock and a hard place,
it won’t be a dead end—
ISAIAH 43:1-2 (THE MESSAGE)



Is He with us in the wilderness? Oh yes! He is not only with you and me everytime we find ourselves in the wilderness but He promises to meet us there and make a road through our desert …



Be alert, be present.
I’m about to do something brand-new.
It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?
There it is! I’m making a road through the desert,
rivers in the badlands.
ISAIAH 43:19 (THE MESSAGE)



On the journey with you,
Jan Dravecky

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Depression, Prayer, The Search for Answers, Words of Endurance

God, God . . . my God!
Why did you dump me
miles from nowhere?
Doubled up with pain, I call to God
all the day long. No answer. Nothing.
I keep at it all night, tossing and turning.
PSALM 22:1 (THE MESSAGE)



For many of us, as well as with King David, the pain and suffering of life draws the nagging question Why? out into the open.



Few of us ask the question Why? when life is going well. But when life doesn’t go the way we think it should – when a tragedy befalls us or our loved ones – when we can’t make sense out of what is happening – we cry out to God – Why???



That was how it was for Dave and I. Our life was going great – almost like a fairy tale. We were young and healthy – we were growing in our faith – we were happily married – we had two beautiful children – Dave’s baseball career was successful.



And then from what seemed out of nowhere …



Wham!!! Dave is diagnosed with cancer that resulted in the loss of his physical health and baseball career.



Wham!!! I experience a debilitating depression in the midst of Dave’s cancer battle – the loss of emotional health – unable to fulfill my duty as a wife, mother and caregiver.



We felt blind-sided and I asked God Why???



Have you ever felt blind-sided on your journey? Are you asking God Why? Then join me on a journey into God’s Word in search for the answer to the question … Why???



I found truths in the pages of the Bible that brought peace to my questioning mind and set me free. Over the next several weeks – together – I will be sharing those truths with you.



I leave you with the following Scripture – a prayer of the ever-questioning King David. Please make it your prayer too!



Show me how you work, God;
School me in your ways.
Take me by the hand;
Lead me down the path of truth.
You are my Savior, aren’t you?
PSALM 25:4-5 (THE MESSAGE)



On the journey with you,
Jan Dravecky

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Anger, Cancer, Depression, Fear, Words of Endurance

“… And you will know the truth,
and the truth will set you free.”
JOHN 8:32 (NLT)



Janette and Bill needed a fresh start so the chance to move out of state for a new job opportunity looked like a divine gift. But life after the move was complicated. Bill’s new job didn’t turn out to be what he was promised. Janette was still feeling the pain of wounding words from her previous employer, which made it difficult to handle the stress of her new job. Their children were feeling lonely and insecure as they adjusted to new schools and tried to find new friends. Then just when Janette didn’t think she could handle one more challenge – Bill was diagnosed with an aggressive form of colon cancer.



So far from the only home and support system they had ever known, they faced cancer surgery, a colostomy, radiation therapy, chemotherapy, more surgery and a host of complications and unexpected bills. Janette shifted into ‘survival mode’ and pushed herself to get through each day but the prolonged stress took its toll. She began to experience anxiety attacks – her heart would beat so fast she thought she would die. She was so exhausted she could barely get out of bed in the morning. Fatigue, crying spells, hopelessness, anger, fear and isolation became part of her daily life.



What made things worse was that Janette was dreadfully afraid that she and Bill had done something to cause the difficulties they faced. She had been taught that suffering was almost always caused by personal wrongdoing or a lack of faith. So she believed that she and her husband were somehow responsible for what was happening to their family. Yet she had no idea where they had gone wrong and she couldn’t figure out what horrible sin deserved so much suffering.

No wonder Janette’s perspective on life was shattering. Her emotional health, her views of God and her perspective on suffering were all crumbling under the stress of circumstances and the burden of a perspective that wasn’t true. Although she sensed that she wasn’t seeing things clearly, she was afraid to ask for help. What if her newly made friends at church thought the whole ordeal was due to her personal sin or spiritual weakness too? Where would she find help then?



Fortunately, Janette’s new friends refused to stand by and do nothing. They knew she was hurting and encouraged her to participate in a faith based support group at church. There she began to more closely examine what the Bible taught about suffering.



Then a widowed friend shared about how she struggled with depression following her husband’s death. Her honesty about a personal struggle surprised Janette. Having come from a setting where exposing weakness would result in harsh judgment, her friend’s vulnerability opened Janette’s eyes to the possibility of looking at what was really happening in her own life.



Prompted by another friend, Janette began to list the hardships and losses she had recently endured instead of trying to ignore them. As she did, she realized why she felt overwhelmed, sad and full of anxiety. Who wouldn’t be? The pain she felt wasn’t because of weakness. It was understandable in light of the traumatic losses she had experienced.



Once she faced the truth of those losses, Janette began to grieve. It wasn’t an easy or pleasant process. It was especially heartbreaking for her to realize she no longer thought of God as being wise, loving and caring. But as painful as it was to confront those losses and to uncover the perspective that made them nearly unbearable, Janette is glad she did.



Today as a result of her Bible study and the support of caring friends she has a new perspective. She knows that while some suffering may come as a consequence of our actions of our actions, suffering also comes as part of life. Even more important, she knows that from God’s perspective suffering is an opportunity to draw close to him and she has rediscovered a closer, more personal relationship with her wise and loving God.



As Janette learned we rarely give our perspectives a second thought when life is going well. But when our perspectives shatter and fail us, it is essential to take a close look at what the truth really is so that we can make adjustments in our thinking. Sometimes when our perspective shatters we can finally see the truth clearly and that truth will set us free!



I always try to remind people that as painful as it may be,
truth is always your friend.
No matter how difficult it is to swallow, truth is reality
And that is where ultimate safety, growth and God are.
We need to know the truth.
Sometimes the truth leads us to what is hurting us …
Sometimes it leads us to what we need to change.
At other times it leads us to
what we need to do next in a relationship.
At still other times it leads us to
what our weaknesses or limitations are,
such as what we are not ready to deal with.
But whatever the truth is, it is our friend.
HENRY CLOUD & JOHN TOWNSEND
HOW PEOPLE GROW



On the Journey with You,
Dave and Jan Dravecky

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