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Anger, Healing, On the Journey Together, Pain, Words of Endurance

The Power of My Words

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October 14, 2016

- Anger, Healing, On the Journey Together, Pain, Words of Endurance

“There will be a time of Reckoning.
Words are powerful;
Take them seriously.
Words can be your salvation.
Words can also be your damnation.”
MATTHEW 12:36-37
(WORDS OF JESUS-THE MESSAGE)



Jan and I are on this journey together in this new season. However my challenges – at least at this point – are quite different from hers.



I never realized the impact of my words. But over the last five years I have begun to recognize more than ever just how powerful my words have been and how I have used them to control others to meet my high expectations. When I look back on my life as a husband and a father, I regretfully now know that my words have had an affect on the people that matter most to me.



Upon further reflection I have seen how I have used my words and my anger to manipulate to get my way. I have seen how my words have been critical and judgmental which has caused much discouragement and pain to the recipients. I’ve seen how my words have destroyed and torn down the ones I love the most when all my heart meant to do was challenge them to do better. But what God desires for me to do is the exact opposite with my words.



So why did I struggle so much with my words towards my loved ones? To be honest I don’t really know how to answer that. I am sure some of you as you read these confessions are probably trying to help me out right now. And I don’t blame you because before I had these revelations I would have been doing the same thing – I would have tried to fix me too!



I do know that my perfectionism and the need to control has been a significant part of my story. As an athlete I had high expectations of myself and I needed to be in control. When I lost control I feared failure. That is how I felt about my family. In the end I guess you could say I’ve been extremely selfish in my life wanting life to go my way. It has been hard to realize that our family life isn’t all about Dave.



These are really hard things for me to share with you because I’m not sure what you will think of me after you read this. But I have discovered there is great freedom in being known for who you truly are – there is freedom in not hiding.



Watch the way you talk.
Let nothing foul or dirty
come out of your mouth.
Say only what helps,
each word a gift.
EPHESIANS 4:29 (THE MESSAGE)



On The Journey With You,
Dave Dravecky

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Fear, Grace, Hope, On the Journey Together, Words of Endurance

The Challenge to Trust Others

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October 6, 2016

- Fear, Grace, Hope, On the Journey Together, Words of Endurance

“I, yes I, am the one who comforts you.
So why are you afraid of mere humans,
who wither like the grass and disappear?”
ISAIAH 51:12 (WORDS OF THE LORD TO ISAIAH-THE MESSAGE)



Trusting the Holy Spirit to lead me out of my darkness was a relatively easy step for me to take. He had turned my darkness into light before – I trusted that He would again. No one knows my heart better – the good, the bad and the ugly – and nothing about my true self could separate me from His Unconditional Love.



But the harder challenge for me was to trust others who had conditional love for me. How could I trust others with who I truly am when I fear them? The Holy Spirit has shown me at the core of my people-pleasing nature is the fear of human disapproval especially from the ones I love and respect.



This fear has caused me to hide behind the masks I have worn my entire married life and bury my true feelings deep inside my soul. I put my true self in captivity. But thank you Lord that You came to set the captives free! I now know that I can trust others with my true self because I can trust You to protect my heart. However, knowing and living this truth out are two different things. I am on a journey.



The fear of human opinion disables;
trusting in God protects you from that.
PROVERBS 29:25 (THE MESSAGE)



On The Journey With You,
Jan Dravecky

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Depression, Guilt, Hope, On the Journey Together, Words of Endurance

Trusting the Holy Spirit Within Me

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September 27, 2016

- Depression, Guilt, Hope, On the Journey Together, Words of Endurance

“I’m baptizing you here in the river
turning your old life in for a kingdom life.
The real action comes next:
The main character in this drama –
compared to him I’m a mere stagehand –
will ignite the kingdom life within you,
a fire within you, the Holy Spirit within you,
changing you from the inside out.
He’s going to clean house –
make a clean sweep of your lives.”
MATTHEW 3:11-12
(THE WORDS OF JOHN THE BAPTIST-THE MESSAGE)



It had become obvious to me that I was totally powerless to “change” from my old life after countless futile attempts – trying in my own strength. I felt hopeless. I was stuck in my own muck and mire. I felt much shame for not being able to “fix” myself.



I had recently been told that “The Cure” for my old life was to trust God and others with who I truly am. This was a scary step for me to take because I had worn so many masks to please others. How do I dare trust others with my true heart?



But I wanted so much for the Holy Spirit to make a “clean sweep” of my life. After years of my low-lying depression I could no longer feel the presence of God but I knew from my past depressions that God’s presence is not dependent upon my feelings. I would have to trust the God within me that I could not sense and the God within others to guide me out of my darkness by bringing the true me out into His light.



Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do everywhere you go;
He’s the one who will keep you on track.
PROVERBS 3:5-6 (THE MESSAGE)



On The Journey With You,
Jan Dravecky

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Anger, Healing, On the Journey Together, Words of Endurance

Permission to be Angry

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September 22, 2016

- Anger, Healing, On the Journey Together, Words of Endurance

Go ahead and be angry.
You do well to be angry –
But don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge.
Don’t stay angry.
Don’t go to bed angry.
Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.
EPHESIANS 4:26-27 (THE MESSAGE)



Oh how I wish I had paid heed to this Scripture. It would have saved me from so much heartache, despair and deep-rooted depression. Instead of dealing with my anger on a daily basis I have stuffed and denied my anger – burying it deep inside my heart. Instead of expressing my anger I silenced my voice for fear of being rejected. And then I built a wall around my heart to protect it.



Anger is a secondary emotion to fear, hurt or frustration. The roots of my anger have been fear and hurt – fear of man and having my heart hurt – hurt by the words and actions of others. Anger is an emotion that is very hard for me to experience. I never am able to communicate the words to respond or express my anger – the only way that I express my anger is through tears.



When I was given the freedom to be me I first had to look deep into my heart to see the wounds that I had experienced and I realized how hurt and angry I have been through the years. But if I wanted to heal I knew I needed to do it … I trusted the Holy Spirit was leading me.



Investigate my life, O God,
find out everything about me;
Cross-examine and test me,
get a clear picture of what I’m about;
See for yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong –
then guide me on the road to eternal life.
PSALM 139:23-24 (THE MESSAGE)



On The Journey With You,
Jan Dravecky

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Grace, Guilt, On the Journey Together, Pain, Words of Endurance

Freedom to Be Me?

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September 15, 2016

- Grace, Guilt, On the Journey Together, Pain, Words of Endurance

Christ has set us free to live a free life.
So take your stand!
Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.
GALATIANS 5:1 (THE MESSAGE)



My entire adult life, my harness of slavery has been people pleasing. I have felt it my responsibility to make others happy. I love making my family and friends happy – happy with themselves and also happy with me. I always have tried to truthfully build up and encourage rather than tear down and criticize. I never wanted to hurt their hearts because when their hearts hurt so did mine.



I have a highly sensitive heart and if I would sense that someone was experiencing any anger or disappointment with me that would crush my heart. I would immediately feel it was my fault. I would apologize and fix whatever I had done or eliminate my behavior. Unfortunately, this is how I lost myself when I put on masks to make others happy with me. After so many years those masks had become my identity.



So when Dave gave me the freedom to be “me” I honestly did not know who “me” was anymore. I realized that I was so busy making everybody else happy that I had totally forgotten who I was – my gifts – what I enjoyed – I had “self-forgot”.



God does not want us to “self-forget” because each one of us is “marvelously made” by Him. While that may be hard for some of us to believe we need to remember and ask God to let it sink deep into our hearts that He loves us and accepts us for who we truly are – warts and all. What freedom!



Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God – you’re breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made.
PSALM 139:13-14 (THE MESSAGE)



On The Journey With You,
Jan Dravecky

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Grace, On the Journey Together, Words of Endurance

The Gift of Grace

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September 9, 2016

- Grace, On the Journey Together, Words of Endurance

“Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.”
MATTHEW 11:29 (WORDS OF JESUS-THE MESSAGE)



I remember the day Dave began to learn the unforced rhythms of grace. He had been reading The Cure, when suddenly he placed the book down and walked into the kitchen. He looked me straight in the eyes and told me he was sorry for not loving me for who I truly was. From now on he was going to celebrate me.



Dave shared that he wanted to receive and experience God’s amazing gift of grace – The Original Good News. He confessed that he knew of no other person who was more grace filled for others than me and he, too, wanted to experience that grace for others. I felt God’s grace pour through him for me.



I started to cry as he spoke. I always knew that Dave loved me. But while I felt loved I did not feel that he liked me because he was always trying to change me – fix me. As a result, I would change to whatever he needed me to be in order to make him happy. Over the years I lost myself – I was so codependent with Dave.



But that day, Dave gave me a gift – the freedom to be me. He gave me permission to start the journey of rediscovering who I was apart from him and more importantly who I truly was before God. I realized that I needed to start receiving God’s amazing grace deep within myself. I knew of God’s grace for me in my head but I wanted to know it in my heart.



Receive and experience the amazing grace
of the Master, Jesus Christ,
deep, deep within yourselves.
PHILIPPIANS 4:23 (THE MESSAGE)



On The Journey With You,
Jan Dravecky

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Grace, Guilt, On the Journey Together, Words of Endurance

On the Journey Together

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August 31, 2016

- Grace, Guilt, On the Journey Together, Words of Endurance

I’ve been out of step with you for a long time,
in the wrong since before I was born.
What you’re after is truth from the inside out.
Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life.
PSALM 51:5-6 (THE MESSAGE)



My heart’s cry to God has always been “Lord, please change me from the inside out.” Sure I can put on a mask and change my outside appearance but what about my sinful desires? What about the part of me that still sins – that I don’t dare let others see? I know that God sees that sinful part of me so what good is it to appear to be holy on the outside when my heart still desires sin on the inside?



I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. ROMANS 7:24-25 (THE MESSAGE)



Dave was convinced that the path to pleasing God was to “fix” his own sin. And he was also convinced that he needed to fix our children and me. He had high expectations of himself and us. While his heart motive was to please God he always fell short causing him much frustration and shame.



Being the codependent that I am, I tried hard to please Dave (and God) by attempting to live up to Dave’s expectations but I always fell short – causing me much shame. My shame contributed to my low self-esteem and depression.



But thanks be to God, five years ago, Dave discovered a new path with God. He learned afresh the path to trusting God because of His Grace. His life began to change not from the outside in but from the inside out. Little did I know how Dave’s new path would answer my heart’s cry and would begin to change me, too, from the inside out.



Because of this decision we don’t evaluate people
by what they have or how they look.
We looked at the Messiah that way once
and got it all wrong, as you know.
We certainly don’t look at him that way anymore.
Now we look inside and what we see
is that anyone united with the Messiah
gets a fresh start, is created new.
The old life is gone; a new life burgeons!
Look at it! All this comes from God …
2 CORINTHIANS 5:16-18 (THE MESSAGE)



On The Journey With You,
Jan Dravecky

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Depression, Grief, Healing, On the Journey Together, Prayer, Words of Endurance

My Cry For Help

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August 24, 2016

- Depression, Grief, Healing, On the Journey Together, Prayer, Words of Endurance

Listen, God! Please pay attention!
Can you make sense of these ramblings,
my groans and cries?
King-God, I need your help.
PSALM 5:1-2 (THE MESSAGE)



I have struggled off and on with depression all of my adult life. For years now I have pleaded with God to remove this “thorn in my flesh.” But after years of counseling and many attempts to get off my antidepressant I had resigned myself to the fact that this was the way I was wired and it was a burden that I would forever bear till I meet Jesus on the other side.



I thought I could maintain status quo and get by but my issues have worsened over the years. I have always known that I was a flaming people-pleasing codependent but I did not realize how that had eroded me spiritually, physically and emotionally. It has reared its ugly head in my relationship with God and family – leaving me empty inside – not knowing who I truly was – causing me to turn to addiction to numb my pain – not God.



What I am so elated over is that God has not left me here in my state of despair. While I am still in the midst of my healing and discovery I now know that He who began a good work in me will see it to the day of completion. (Philippians 1:6) For the first time in a long time my hope has been restored.



He has heard my prayer and blessed me with a wonderful, understanding and patient husband, an insightful and wise counselor and wonderful supportive friends. Another layer of the onion is being peeled and hopefully the root of codependency is being pulled out – I am still in the process – the process is painful but it is worth it. I now pray …



Investigate my life, O God,
find out everything about me;
Cross-examine and test me,
get a clear picture of what I’m about;
See for yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong –
then guide me on the road to eternal life.
Psalm 139:23-24 (THE MESSAGE)



On The Journey With You,
Jan Dravecky

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Hope, On the Journey Together, Pain, Words of Endurance

On the Journey Together

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August 19, 2016

- Hope, On the Journey Together, Pain, Words of Endurance

Your life is a journey you must travel with a deep consciousness of God.
1 Peter 1:18 (THE MESSAGE)



For 25 years we have been sharing our journey with others and for 25 years others have been sharing their journeys with us. No two journeys are the same but we all have the same destination – eternal life with God. And along the way together we have traveled with a deep consciousness of God. Of course there are many seasons to our journeys and we all have experienced many – some joyful and some sad – some easy and some difficult – some were fulfilling and some found us empty and thirsting – some life giving and some life taking.



We shared last week that we currently find ourselves in a season of blessings yet we also find ourselves on a journey of discovery – trusting God and others with who we truly are. This has been quite a long and sometimes painful process – especially for Jan. It is difficult to trust others with who you truly are when you don’t know who you are. This was Jan’s dilemma.



We are still in the midst of this journey and it has affected but strengthened our marriage significantly. We plan on sharing with you this part of our story – no matter how difficult. We would love as we share that you will share with us and ask yourself the question “Do I trust God and others with who I truly am?”



And so this is still a live promise. The promise of “arrival” and “rest” is still there for God’s people. God himself is at rest. And at the end of the journey we’ll surely rest with God.
HEBREWS 4:8,10 (THE MESSAGE)

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"The journey of our suffering was not hopeless. Through it we discovered the power of endurance - not in our own ability, but in the comfort, encouragement, and hope that God provides"

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PO BOX 1912, SALINA, KS 67402

Phone: 800.295.5880

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